Decisions
by phillyphil10
Summary: A twist ending to Makoto's demise. Any opinions expressed are merely POV. enjoy
1. Meeting

**I do not own School Days. **

**read.**

Her silence said it all. She hadn't gone to see the doctor. Although, how could he blame her? He was asking her to do something so vile, so wrong, so inconceivable to anyone of a kind heart. It was natural for her to be putting it off. Not to mention the fact that the doctor was recommended by Kotonoha. After all they had been through, he knew that Kotonoha was the last person Sekai wanted giving her advice on what to do about the baby. He knew that she was afraid and alone, but he was afraid too. It wasn't his fault! He wasn't _trying_ to get her pregnant! Besides, he had wronged Kotonoha more than anyone. She deserved him far more than Sekai did. Kotonoha wouldn't have made a big deal about getting pregnant. Kotonoha wouldn't have blurted it out in front of the whole class. Most importantly, Kotonoha wasn't pregnant! In fact, despite everything he put her through, she still wanted to see him, unlike the others. She still loved him. Kotonoha forgave him. _She _knew that it wasn't his fault. She knew how hard it was for him. If nothing else, at least he knew he had her. Makoto stared at the short-haired girl across from him. Her navy blue eyes were full of malice, pain, and despair. On the surface, she seemed almost emotionless, but he could tell how hurt she was. He had to say something. Anything. He had to break the silence.

"um," he started to say.

Sekai continued to sit there expressionlessly. Her body was like a statue. He could barely tell that she was breathing.

"uh," he tried again, scratching his head. Makoto began to stand up.

"I'll go make some tea!"

"I'll do it." Sekai blurted out abruptly as she made her way to the kitchen without even a single glance in his direction.

Makoto sat back down on the couch, confused. Why was Sekai making tea for him? Could she have gotten the wrong idea about their meeting? He was sure that she wanted to meet about the baby. Could she have set this whole thing up to try and win him back? He let out a deep sigh as the unmistakable sound of running water flowed casually through the background. As he heard the stove turn on, he began to wonder if he really _had_ made the right decision. Of course he had. Hadn't he? If he had stayed with her, she would have tried to keep it. Right? If she got rid of it, she could continue getting her education. Staying with her would have ruined both of their lives. Right? All things considered, getting back with Kotonoha was the best possible decision. He was sure of it. He was set on sticking with Kotonoha. He had promised her that he wouldn't cheat on her anymore earlier that day. This time, that was actually easier done than said. No girl would even go near him after he impregnated Sekai. Why did she have to get pregnant? Things were going so well for him. It was all her fault! No. He was wrong. It was his. Sekai tried so hard to fight her emotions and stay friends, but he just kept pushing and pushing. He didn't think of anyone's feelings but his own. And now here he was, caught between a rock and a hard place: in between pregnant Sekai and fragile Kotonoha. After witnessing first-hand the state she was in when he found her that cold winter night, he couldn't just dump her again. On top of that, he loved her. He loved Sekai too, but-

Wait. Maybe he didn't love her. He might have just confused his love with his lust. Surely, he cared for Sekai, but she wasn't the beautiful girl on the train; so close, and yet so far away. In the end, he followed his heart. Someone had to be hurt in the end, but at least Sekai was strong enough to handle it. She would get over him with time. Makoto was wrestled from his thoughts by the familiarly melodic ring of his cell phone. It was probably Kotonoha. As he entered his room, he found his cell phone on his bed where he had left it. He opened it and realized that he had been texted. However, the text wasn't from Kotonoha.

"Sekai?" he questioned, confused as to why she would be texting him.

Couldn't she have just yelled whatever she wanted to say from the kitchen? The text read:

"Come here, Makoto, there's something I want to show you. ;)"

"What is it, Sekai?" Makoto yelled, not bothering to send something he could say.

He pocketed his cell phone as he left the room and began to look around for Sekai. She was nowhere to be found.

"Sekai, where did you go?" he asked as he checked the kitchen.

The tea kettle whistled as his eyes darted around the small room. He shuddered as he made a shocking discovery. The hairs on the back of his neck began to stand on end.

She couldn't have.

His whole body began to shake.

She wouldn't.

His eyes were fixed on the spot where his missing knife should have been. He felt a sharp stab at his side.

"S-Sekai."

No. He turned around. There was no one there. He checked himself thoroughly. He was fine. The pain was just his fear getting the better of him.

"Thank goodness." he whispered as he turned the stove off.

His guard was up as he walked back into the living room. He noticed that Sekai's coat was also missing. He began to realize her true motive.

"Kotonoha." he gasped as he hurriedly pulled his coat and shoes on.

He had to save her. She didn't stand a chance against Sekai especially with a knife. As he closed the door behind him, he felt someone grab at his arm. It was Sekai.

"Come with me, Makoto." she commanded cheerily. "You're not gonna want to miss this!"

"Sekai?"

She pulled his arm close into her torso. His whole body jumped. He felt another sharp pain at his side. This one felt far more real. Sekai was careful to conceal the weapon.

"Let's go, Makoto" she said with a smile as the unforgiving winter air that would have normally gave him goose bumps was made obsolete. He already had them.

* * *

Kotonoha stood casually with her bag of food as she stared out at the passing scenery from the window. She couldn't wait to see Makoto-kun. As she looked on from inside the train, she noticed the docks way out on the orange-pink horizon. She had been there several times before. Her family's boat was stored there. There were also many old warehouses within the area. They were far too old for anyone to make use of them anymore, and yet still they remained: dismal reminders of what had once been. Even so, the docks were a place of fond memories; both made and soon to be made. She was going to go there with Makoto-kun in the morning. They would drive far out into the ocean in the boat; just the two of them. However, as she began to think about what would happen when she got to Makoto-kun's house that night, a wave of apprehension rushed over her. She began to walk herself through her expectations of how the night would go:

First: She would cook dinner for the two of them. That wouldn't be a problem. Makoto-kun loved her cooking. He would always quickly devour anything she made. Although, she personally didn't like anything she made. She began to wonder if Makoto-kun was only pretending to like her food to spare her feelings. She had to do better just in case. She wouldn't lose him again. She had to do everything she could to make him happy.

Second: They would watch the movies she rented. She knew that boys didn't like romance movies as much as girls did, but she had to find some romantic way to mentally prepare herself for what was coming next.

Third: ……..

Her heart sank. Could she really go through with it? Of course she could. She had to. Makoto-kun wouldn't be content with just kissing her and touching her breasts. He wanted to do everything. She wasn't sure if she was ready and yet, that time with Sawagana. She wasn't a virgin. Not anymore. So why was she so nervous? Was it because Sawagana wasn't very good? After all, she knew very well the feeling she should have gotten. No. It was supposed to be even better with a man. Right? Although, it _was_ Sawagana's first time. She had heard that _everyone_ is bad their first time. Makoto-kun would be great. It only hurts the first time. He had a lot of practice. Her grip on the bag tightened. Those other girls he had been with. They stole him away from her! But he came back to her. She let out a deep sigh and decided not to think about it. Her grip on the bag loosened. She began to wonder whether or not Saionji-san had gone to see the doctor. She must have, unless she was faking to keep Makoto-kun. Yet, she may very well have been pregnant. A disturbing thought entered Kotonoha's mind. What if Saionji-san was only the beginning? What if the other girls he slept with turned out to be pregnant as well? Her grip on the bag began to tighten once more. Kotonoha began to panic. She couldn't lose Makoto-kun! No. Makoto-kun was careful. He wouldn't let something like that happen. Besides, no one else _could_ have his child. After all, _she_ was Makoto-kun's girlfriend. Makoto-kun was a very easy person to seduce. She knew that. All the same, she alone would just have to be enough for him. If she could do that, he would always remain where he belongs. The train jolted to a stop.

"Higarashi Harami, Higarashi Harami" she heard on the intercom as the door opened.

"I'm coming, Makoto-kun"


	2. Journey

**Well, here we are again. **

**read.**

As they left the train station she hugged his arm tighter; the sharp, painful poke of the knife into his side became increasingly unpleasant.

"Wh-where are we going?" Makoto asked nervously.

"You'll see." Sekai teased. "This way!" she commanded as they crossed the street. He could barely hear her over the roar of the departing train. The loud churning of it's wheels as it sped along the track obscured even passing cars. Then, just as quickly as it came, the noise became quieter and quieter until it faded away from the atmosphere. As they casually strolled down the street, Makoto wondered if the blade had broken the skin. It felt like it had, but he didn't see any blood coming from that area. He was fine. The truth was that he was just trying to distract himself from the almost certain horrible fate about to befall him. What was in store for him? What was Sekai planning? Whatever it was, he deserved it.

No.

He didn't deserve it. He did the right thing. It would have been wrong to reject those girls. He was sparing their feelings.

Makoto let out a deep sigh. He knew that wasn't true. He shouldn't have let his popularity go to his head. He should have fought his urges. He should have kept it in his pants. Kotonoha was enough for him at first, but she was such a challenge. He thought back to hen she wouldn't kiss him or even hold his hand. Then to when she would.

Progress.

Then to when he first touched her breasts. Sekai told him he was going too fast, but he didn't listen.

Then came the practice. The practice was what started it all. Sekai said that they were only practicing so that he could do more with Kotonoha. He didn't care. He remembered that day on the rooftop.

First he held her hand.

Then he told her he loved her.

Then he touched her breast.

He remembered wanting to keep going and Sekai reluctantly allowing him to. Unfortunately, they had to stop.

He thought back to the time when she finally _did _let him finish.

That cold rainy night, he confessed his love for her. They returned to her house soaked.

That's when he got his first taste of it.

Sex.

It was way better than all those times on his own. Magazines wouldn't be enough for him anymore. Real girls were much better. He loved it. He loved her. Or did he?

"Honey! Honey!" He heard a voice yell. He turned his attention to the world around him and realized that they were in a store.

"You might wanna pay the man."

"Sek-" he felt the piercing pain of the blade as it pushed harder against his skin. He understood.

No names.

"Alright then." he replied as cheerily as he could as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket. He looked up at a very impatient store clerk. This man's skin was paler than most; so much so that he almost seemed sickly. His jet black hair was in spikes that casually fell at his shoulders.

"How much?" Makoto asked as politely as possible.

"Why should I repeat myself to you?" the clerk snorted. "You should learn to pay more attention!"

That was it! All Makoto was doing was trying to be polite and this guy was being a total ass. He was going to die and who does he get to see last? A store clerk with an attitude problem.

"Look L, I really don't have time for your bullshit right now, just tell me how much it is, I'll pay for it, and we'll be out of your Kira investigation forever!

"Ooh, an anime fan!", " the clerk retorted sarcastically. "Death Note sucked, but if it makes you feel any better, you just got the award for otaku of the year!"

"Big talk for someone as scrawny as you, you wanna take this outside?"

"Calm down, hon." Sekai pleaded. "Let's not make a scene." she handed the clerk a bill from Makoto's wallet while still keeping the knife concealed.

It must have been in her sleeve.

"Keep the change." she said as she wrapped that arm right back around Makoto's.

"Wait, how much did you give him?" Makoto asked as they exited the store.

"Enough." she simply replied.

"And what's in the bag?"

"You'll see" Sekai teased as they continued down the street.

The sky was completely black. The cool night air blew through their hair. Makoto began to think about his relationship with Sekai. What if she wasn't actually pregnant?

He was drawn away from his thoughts yet again. This time it was his cell phone ringing.

"Can I…" he started

She didn't respond. She simply pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and opened it up as they continued to walk.

"Katsura." She said with a frown. "You went for a walk. You got lost for a while, but you're on your way home right now. I went home already." She handed him the phone while increasing the knife's pressure a bit. He understood immediately. Makoto nodded and pressed the call button.

"Makoto-kun, where are you right now? I've been waiting. I let myself in. I hope that's alright."

"It's fine. And don't worry about me. I just went for a walk. I got lost for a bit, but I'm on my way home right now."

"Um, did you talk to Saionji-san?" She asked.

"Y-yeah. She uh, she said that she'd think about seeing the doctor."

"I'm glad," he could hear the concern in her voice. "but what if she decides to keep it?"

Makoto grew silent. He didn't know what he would do if she did.

"But, we'll stay together, right?" Kotonoha asked. Her voice was shaky.

"…..Yeah." He finally said.

"Oh, Makoto-kun. Well, I guess I'll get dinner started. Hurry back."

"Okay, bye." Makoto replied as he pressed the end button and put his phone back in his pocket.

"This way!" ushered Sekai as they walked down yet another street. This one seemed to go on forever until finally, the pair neared the docks.

Why was she taking him to the docks? Did it have anything to do with what she bought earlier? What was Sekai planning? Whatever it was, it certainly wouldn't be good.

"Over here!" She exclaimed as she pulled Makoto closer and closer to one of the warehouses on the far left.

"Are we going in there?" Makoto asked. He was now more curious than afraid. He had almost completely forgotten about the method she used to make him go with her.

"No," Sekai replied, "that one." She pointed to the one behind it and lead him to that warehouse's back door. "Open it." She commanded. Makoto did as he was told and opened the door. As they walked into the dark building, Sekai turned on the lights and closed the door behind them. Within the vast warehouse, there were nothing but a few wooden boxes and a chair with a support beam directly behind it. Upon further inspection, he also found several worn out metal pipes. "Come here." Sekai coaxed as she pulled him closer and closer to the chair. "Sit down." Once again, Makoto complied despite the chair having a noticeably large hole in it. Sekai sat on his lap and as she did this, Makoto heard a loud CLANG. At that moment he realized that Sekai wasn't holding the knife anymore. Sekai grabbed his face gently, pulled it toward hers, and kissed him passionately. Makoto closed his eyes and gave into it as Sekai's tongue massaged his.

She stopped. "I'm sorry about the knife." She said as tears began to form in her eyes. "It was just the only way I was sure you would come. I just wanted to do it with you one last time. Please Makoto, I just want to love you; to feel you; to be one with you. You can be with only Katsura-san if that's what you want, just let me love you one last time. Please."

Makoto looked around at all of the pipes, boxes, and various pieces of trash and debris. "Why here?" he asked.

"Katsura-san was coming to your house and my mom would have seen us as mine." she explained as she wiped her tears away. "This was the only place I could think of."

"Oh, alright then." Makoto replied nervously. "But what about Kotonoha?"

Just tell her you got lost again. She'll believe you." Sekai whispered as she began to unbutton her vest.

* * *

Makoto fastened his tie and made his way to the door. He looked back. "Are you coming, Sekai?"

"Yeah, hold on." She replied as she finished putting her skirt back on.

As Makoto put his hand on the door knob, he felt himself kick something that made a rustling sound. It was the bag. He never did find out what was inside. He picked it up and looked inside. The contents of the bag were strange. In it were a roll of duct tape, some heavy duty rope, and a pair of gardening shears.

"Sek-" Makoto felt something hard slam into his head as he turned around. Makoto fell to the ground and an image of Sekai standing over him with a pipe in hand began to fade away as he heard the word,

"Idiot."


	3. Aftermath

_**I don't own School Days**_

_**S'been a while. Prob'ly thought that was the end huh? Wrong. The names are on the wikipedia article (except Keiichi, I made him up) for anyone who gets confused.  
**_

_**read.**_

One Month.

It was one month since that fateful night.

One month since she waited at his house with dinner prepared.

One month since she had stayed up all night waiting for him.

A whole month of calling and waiting and hoping for him to return. In this time, Kotonoha had repeatedly visited Makoto-kun's house hoping for him to be there. The police were searching for him, but it seemed as though he would never be found. Kotonoha stared gloomily at the blackboard, her lifeless eyes fixated on that particular direction, unaware of her surroundings and engorged in an increasingly palpable depression.

"Miss Katsura."

"Miss Katsura!" her teacher yelled furiously.

"Yes?" Kotonoha answered in a monotonous voice

"Perhaps you would like to answer the question I just asked you." he suggested sarcastically.

"I don't know. I wasn't listening." she replied emotionlessly.

The teacher sighed in an attempt to alleviate his frustration. "Well, you had better start listening unless you want to fail this class."

"I don't care anymore." she retorted as she begun to spin her pencil around in her hand.

" Fine. Miss Mori_, _could_ you _answer the question?" he resolved.

Kotonoha began to once again drift into the realm of thought. Before she knew it, the lunch bell had rung and nearly everyone had left the classroom. The only students who remained were Koizumi, Mori, Obuchi, Katou, and herself. Finally breaking away from her thoughts, Kotonoha found the other four girls, those same girls who bullied her day in and day out, standing in front of her ready to continue their ceaseless hobby of tormenting her.

"What happened to little miss perfect?" Koizumi began. "You don't care about anything any more. Do you?"

Kotonoha remained silent. Her purportment as gloomy as ever.

"It's because her boyfriend's gone." added Obuchi.

"You're really hilarious." laughed Mori. "Itou cheats on you, dumps you, sleeps with just about every girl in the school, gets a girl pregnant, and you still get back together with him! You're pathetic! It's no wonder he left!"

Koizumi and the others all began to laugh as well.

"You know, he might not have run away. Maybe he's just-"

"Stop it, Natsumi!" Katou shouted.

"Look Otome, I know you liked him, but aren't you the one who said he changed? Aren't you the one who said he wasn't a good guy anymore? Why do _you_ care?" Koizumi countered.

"That doesn't mean I want him _dead_! Even if he has become a jerk."

"No." Kotonoha finally replied. "Makoto-kun is not a bad person. It's bitches like you who seduce my Makoto-kun and make him think he needs anyone else but me. You're all the pathetic ones. You can talk about what you guys did with him all you want, but in the end I win. He loves _me_. You're just angry because he'll never love any of you.

"You idiot," Mori began "We never wanted him to love us. Besides, I already have a boyfriend."

Katou looked down at the floor; her face taking on a more grave expression.

"If you already have a boyfriend, then why would you sleep with Makoto-kun?" Kotonoha asked.

"Because- because I thought it would be fun."

"Fun?" The girls heard a voice say. They turned to it's source at the doorway stood a boy about there age with short brown hair. "But I thought you loved me. I thought you said that you didn't want to be with anyone else."

"Keiichi, I-"

"Don't bother, Kumi. It's over between us." Keiichi ran out of the room, heartbroken.

Mori fell to her knees and began to cry. Her friends knelt down to comfort her.

Kotonoha began to laugh hysterically. How wonderful. That slut got what she deserved.

"What an amazing twist of fate." Kotonoha laughed. "It's funny. The wicked never feel regret until something bad happens."

"You fucking bitch!!!" Mori yelled as she tackled Kotonoha to the floor and delivered several slaps to Kotonoha's cheeks before getting up and running out of the classroom. Teardrops peppered Kotonoha's uniform as well as the floor around her. As the seemingly soulless girl began to regain her composure, she heard the bell ring. She had missed lunch.

* * *

Sekai picked up Makoto's phone with a wide grin.

"Lets see what messages she's sent you today. Okay, Makoto?"

Makoto responded with the same piercing glare he had given her so many times before. This glare was the only response Makoto could make. His feet were tied to the chair. His hands were bound to the pole behind him. His mouth was gagged and taped shut. Sekai noticed that Makoto's water bottle was empty. This bottle was dangled by a string that it was taped to a string in front of Makoto. It was clear and had a top connected to a straw that ended in Makoto's mouth among the sock and taped around. Makoto's glare; this sole form of communication was the only way he could express the utter hatred he felt for Sekai. But why did he hate her so much? All she wanted to do was be with him. Sekai sighed. He'd love her again soon enough. In the mean time, she could get a good laugh at how pathetic Katsura-san is.

"Let's see, ooh. This one reads:

'Makoto-kun, please come home. If you do, I'll let you do anything you want to me.'

How sweet. Oh and this one says:

'My mom has been teaching me how to cook better. Come home and I'll make you whatever you like.'

Hmmm....ooh, this is a good one:

'I've been getting to know your mother. We both miss you a lot. I think she really likes me too. She says that I would make a great girlfriend for you. Please come home soon.'

Oh, hey this one's from today: 'Happy Birthday, Makoto. Please return soon so you can open the present I got you. I think you'll really love it since I did my absolute best making it.'

It's too bad you'll never get to have Katsura's present." Sekai happily declared. "I guess you'll just have to settle for mine. But before any of that I should probably feed you. After all, I bet you haven't had anything to eat since my last visit. You know the rules." she said, picking up a knife. "If you scream, I'll cut your throat."

Sekai saw Makoto cringe as she peeled the tape from his face.

What a wimp.

She then pulled the sock out of his mouth and reached over to get the food. In a bag she had two burgers from Pier Burger and two cartons of fries.

"Th-thirsty." Makoto wheezed.

" Of course." Sekai replied as she picked up the soda she had bought him and put the straw to his mouth.

Makoto drank most of the soda all at once. He must have been more thirsty than she thought.

"You know," he finally said. "You can't keep me here forever. Eventually they'll find me. So please, just end it now. Kill me."

"No." Sekai replied. "That night I chose to let you live and I intend to keep you alive. I love you. Besides, don't you want to see our child grow up?" Sekai rubbed her belly and smiled.

"What about your mom? Have you told her yet?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, I told her last week. She was really mad at first, but the weird thing is that now she's okay with it. She even promised to take me to find out the baby's sex. And speaking of last week, I heard Katrura-san got into a fight."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Apparently, a few of the girls from her class ambushed her on her way to the train station. I think it was because she told one of the girl's boyfriends she was cheating on him. I'm not entirely sure on the details, but that's what Hikari told me."

"It's all my fault." Makoto sobbed.

"How is it your fault?" Sekai asked.

"If I had been there, they wouldn't have been able to-"

"Shhh." Sekai said as she pushed his head into her breasts to comfort him.

"It's okay. Don't worry about her. She deserved what happened to her. She tried to take you away from me when I needed you far more than she did. Let's not talk about her any more. Okay?"

* * *

Sekai returned with an anguished appearance. She quickly shut the door behind her as she breathed heavily. Her face held a twisted smile. As with all of her other visits, she had a bag in her hand. The only difference was that fact was that it didn't look like she was carrying food in it"

"You were right. They _will_ find you." She quickly admitted. "Unless there's nothing left to find."


	4. At Peace

**I appreciate your patience.**

**read.**

Kotonoha stared blankly out at the passing scenery. Her eyes still lifeless; her thoughts still on Makoto-kun. At long last, after two of the longest, hardest months she'd ever had to go through, she was finally going to see him. Her worried parents, her failing grades, the girls who would constantly picked on her; they all meant nothing now. She was to be reunited with her one true love. The only boy she could ever love. It was just a matter of time. All she had to do was wait for her stop and get off the train. It wouldn't be a long walk form there. Nothing would take that long if it was to see him.

* * *

She could see the fear in his eyes. He knew this was it. It couldn't have lasted for ever. Nothing ever does. There had to be a hole somewhere, a fault in the plan. There always is, and there it had been; staring her dead in the face. One word that tore asunder her plans, hopes, and dreams as well as their future.

Condemned.

How could it be that one word could hold such power?

Why was it that that word alone caused a complete overhaul of everything she had worked towards? The answer was simple.

Description.

On one of her usual trips to visit her captive lover she spied a notice depicting the condemnation of a certain place she held dear.

The warehouses were being torn down; All of them.

All to make room for more houses. The beach was a good location for summer homes. People would pay top dollar to have a place so close to it, and Katsura Real Estate intended to cash in. It was fitting that _her_ family would lead to this kind of misfortune. Katsura had already taken so much from Sekai, and now, remorselessly, Katsura takes away the one person she fought so hard to keep.

No. If she can't have Makoto, no one can. Besides, if Sekai was caught, who'd raise their child? She knew she had only one option:

Get rid of the evidence.

* * *

Only two stops left. It wouldn't be long now.

Her beloved Makoto-kun; so close and yet so far away.

The train stopped by a familiar place. She and Makoto-kun got off at this stop every day to go to school.

"Hagasira Harami! Hagashira Harami!" The announcer chimed.

People got off and even more got on. All of these people had their own places to go; some to work, some to the bars, some to their families. Everyone had a place to be; just like her. Her place was with Makoto-kun, in his arms where she could be safe and stop worrying about her troubles; where she felt at peace.

* * *

"You were right. They _will_ find you." She quickly admitted. "Unless there's nothing left to find."

Sekai grinned as she pulled a can of gasoline out of the bag. She began to pour it out all around the empty warehouse. She covered the piles of rotted wood and pipes, she doused every box; emptying the can everywhere only to pull another from the bag to repeat the process.

Makoto was now frantic; trying harder than ever to cut the ropes on the shears lying on the box behind him. For such a long time he'd made little progress. For all that effort he'd get nothing. His only reward an untimely death. He watched as Sekai covered everything; everything but him.

"Mmmhm! Mmmmm!!!!" his muffed voice uttered as tears slid down his cheeks.

Sekai walked slowly toward him; her expression as cheery as ever.

"Make your last words good ones, Ma-ko-to." She said in a sing-song voice as she removed the tape and cloth from his mouth.

"I hope they fry you, you crazy bitch," Makoto said calmly. "but not before our kid's born. That way it can hate you for what you did to me and you can die with everything you've ever loved hating you and without a damn thing in this world ever loving you. God knows _I_ never did."

"Makoto, you don't really mean that." She said before kissing him. "Besides, if you have anyone to blame it should be you." Tears began to form in Sekai's eyes. "You were the one who played with my emotions." she sobbed "You were the one who took advantage of my love for you. You even took advantage of Katsura! Why couldn't you just love me?! Or why couldn't we have just stayed friends?! It hurt, but I didn't want to hurt her for me! You're too indecisive! You've always been! You love Katsura! You love me! You love Hikari! You love Katou! No, I'm wrong." Sekai sighed. "You-you don't love me! You didn't love any of us! You can't love any of us! The only thing _you_ loved is what we let you do to us! You're a monster! You've turned _me_ into a monster! I'm glad you're dying here and now! I'm glad this ends with me!"

Sekai's words were like daggers. Each one of them pierced Makoto's heart; each one so true it hurt. He looked down at his feet. All this time he'd hated Sekai for what she did but the truth was that he deserved it. It was an appropriate end for such a vile creature.

"I'm sorry." Makoto whispered. "Kill me."

"I'm glad, Makoto." She replied, wiping her tears. Sekai made her way to the door, spreading a trail of gasoline as she reached it. "Good bye." She pulled a match from her pocket and lit it. With one last smile she dropped the match and closed the door behind her.

* * *

As she continued to walk along her path, she saw her destination in front of her. It wouldn't be long now.

* * *

Makoto saw the fire get closer and closer slowly. He wasn't sure if it was really moving that slowly or if it was just his near-death reaction. Whatever the reason, it wasn't coming fast enough. Makoto was tired of living. He was tired of hurting people. Sekai was right, he_ was_ a monster. The fire crept along its path and began to engulf the piles of wood and pipes.

Just a little longer.

Wait. What was he thinking? He wanted to die? No. Sure, what he did was wrong, but that didn't mean he deserved to die. If he lived he could make things right. He could make up for all of the bad things he's done. Death can't ever make up for any wrongdoings. Only right actions can. He had to survive. He couldn't let it end like that.

* * *

Kotonoha was closer. She was almost there.

"Makoto-kun, we'll see each other soon."

_Kanashimi no mukou e to tadoritsukeru nara_

* * *

Makoto struggled fiercely against the ropes that bound him.

_Boku wa mou iranai yo nukumori mo ashita mo_

Smoke quickly filled the room and entered his lungs. He didn't have much time. The pain around his wrist got sharper and tighter as he pulled against the rope. Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead and temples. Heaving and coughing he pulled harder and harder until finally…

SNAP!!!

The bond was broken.

_Seijaku no yami ni maiorita yume wa_

An exasperated Makoto quickly used the shears to cut his legs free before attempting to stand.

_Who...? tsukanoma koboreta oou no hikari_

Makoto quickly fell to his knees and began to crawl toward the one door he knew was open.

BOOM!!!

_Why...? morosugita sekai todomeru sube wo shirazu ni_

An explosion sent debris hammering against Makoto's back.

_Tada boku wa negatteta sou boukyaku wo_

In terrible agony and inhaling toxic fumes, Makoto continued his trek to the door. He felt his eyes begin to close, but quickly willed them up to about half way.

_Kanashimi no mukou e to tadoritsukeru nara_

Fatigue was setting in. He began to quicken his pace, knowing well his fate should he stop.

_Boku wa mou kore ijou nani mo kanjinakute ii_

While nearing the haven he so desperately needed, he noticed his cell phone on his left. He quickly crawled to it and picked it up. That was a mistake.

KRAKOOM!!!

Makoto was pelted with more debris. He could feel his back and feet burn. The sickening scent of burning flesh joined with the smoky atmosphere that made his eyes burn and his throat itch. His arms began to give out. He could feel them quiver under his weight as he continued on. At last, Makoto reached the door.

"Thank goodness." Makoto wheezed as he took one more attempt at standing up. His eyelids grew heavier and heavier; his body, weaker and weaker. He shakily put his hand on the doorknob. His eyes closed. He could feel himself being swept away; away from this hard world, away from all of the pain and problems he and everyone else had to endure. Makoto fell to his knees.

No more suffering, no more pain, peace.

* * *

Kotonoha walked toward the boat ready to board it. There, at sea she could die slowly. There was no way Makoto-kun was alive. Everyone knew. It was obvious. Not after two months. He was dead. She had to see him, even in the afterlife; even if she had to die to see him, they would meet again and he could spend eternity with him.

Kotonoha took one more look back at the life she was leaving.

No more suffering, no more pain, no more life, peace.


	5. Life

**Life, Death, Joy, Sorrow; these factors serve as both the causes and effects of our Decisions.**

**read.**

_Makoto stared daggers at Sekai; his words awkward, muffled grunts under the cloth and tape._

_"Hey Makoto," her words echoed through the dank, disheveled warehouse. "Wanna know what the gardening shears are for?"_

_Makoto became white with fear. It was obvious what she was going to do._

_"I'm gonna cut it off." She smirked as she pointed her finger at his crotch. His fear became her ecstasy as she grabbed the shears and began to walk closer and closer._

_Makoto's heart was racing. A torrent of sweat ran down his neck._

_She was up close to him now, and ready to rid him of his manhood once and for all. Makoto tried to close his eyes. They stayed open; unable to look away from what she was about to do._

_"Just kidding." Sekai said with a rather large grin. She began to laugh while stroking the would-be weapon. "The look on your face..." Her laughter broke through her sentence as she fell to her knees holding her sides. "This thing was...totally worth buying!"_

_Sekai continued to giggle as she placed the shears on one of the boxes behind Makoto. "I love the fear in your eyes." Sekai cackled while mounting him._

_"Now," she said as she began to sink her hand down his pants. "Let's put this thing to good use."_

_Her hand felt warm; too warm. He was burning. Flames shot up from the floor and covered the walls. He was on his back now. Black smoke filled his lungs and Sekai, who was once caressing him, was repeatedly and violently stabbing him through the chest._

_"You only cared about your own happiness...with Katsura!" _

_His blood began to pool around them, the smell of burning flesh permeated the room._

Makoto woke up in a feverish sweat. His body wanted to sit up, but the pain became too much for him to bear. He was breathing heavily now. His throat began to ache and burn as he started coughing from the sudden over-activity of his weak lungs.

"Makoto-kun!" he heard a gleeful voice to the right of him. Makoto turned to see Kotonoha jumping up from her chair and holding him in a suprsingly tight embrace. Tears of joy rolled down her cheeks and soaked the top of his head; his face pressed into her soft, voluptuous bosom.

"Ko-kotonoha," Makoto wheezed, astonished at his current state. "Where am I? What happened?"

"You're in the hospital, Makoto-kun. You were burned in a few places,"

Makoto worriedly checked his chest for wounds and then, showing even more concern, looked down his pants, causing Kotonoha to shyly turn her beet-red face away from him.

"Thank goodness." He was fine there.

"Th-they said the main problem is your lungs, but they're working on that."

"B-but, how did I-? How did you-?"

"How did you survive?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, the thing is," Kotonoha looked embarassed and ashamed. "It-it's a long story, you should rest now. I'll tell you later."

"Tell me now." he said in agitation.

"Well, I- I found you...on my way to my boat. I was going to drown myself out there, or starve myself...I was... still deciding."

Makoto looked at Kotonoha with contempt. "Why?"

"Well, it's just, you weren't there and life just didn't seem... well, anyway, I was going out on my boat... so I could die in my favorite place, when all of the sudden, I looked back one last time and saw this fire."

_Kotonoha, deciding to investigate this odd occurrence, began to walk toward the bright orange glow. It was one of the warehouses that her father's company was tearing down. She walked closer still, curious as to why it would be burning. As she finally got to the building, she heard a loud THUD._

_"What was that?" she asked herself, running around to the back of the warehouse._

_Panting, she saw a body collapsed on the floor._

"I didn't see your face from that distance, but I knew it was you. It just had to be."

"Then what happened?" Makoto asked.

"Then I called for an ambulance and gave you CPR until they got there."

"I didn't know you knew CPR."

"Yeah," she said. "but I usually don't push hard enough when it comes to the chest compressions."

"Well, you must've done _something_ right because I'm alive." They shared a laugh, adding a bit of noise to the quiet hospital room.

Kotonoha's face became serious once again. "But, Makoto-kun, what happened to you? Was it Saionji? Did _she_ kidnap you? Did _she_ try to kill you?"

"Y-yeah." Makoto replied. He knew that wasn't the whole truth. The weight of the guilt was crushing him. He couldn't keep this a secret any longer. He had to tell her.

"That bitch!" Kotonoha yelled furiously. "I swear I'll fucking kill her. I mean it! She'll die!" Tears came down her face once more.

Makoto couldn't take it anymore. "It was my fault." he muttered; head facing downward. "I had sex with her. That's how she trapped me. She held a knife to me and led me to the warehouse. She asked me to sleep with her. I could've said no, but I didn't."

Kotonoha just stared at Makoto; her lifeless eyes fixed on his guilt-ridden face. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, she finally spoke. "Damn her." Kotonoha whispered. "No matter what I do, she's always there. Always there to take you away from me, but in a way, I guess It's my fault too."

"Kotonoha, no." Makoto cried.

"I should've been more sensitive to _your _feelings. You love sex. It's the most important thing to you. You're willing to get it from any girl you can, but that's going to change." Kotonoha removed her blazer and began unbuttoning her shirt. "I'm different from all the other girls you've slept with. I can do things they won't do." She held her large breasts in her hands, now the only things covering them. "I can do things they _can't _do."She then removed her skirt and proceeded to straddle Makoto. "How do you want to do it, Makoto-kun? I'll do whatever you want me to."

"I want you to stop this." Makoto pleaded. "We can do it another time; when the mood is right and you really want to."

"It's okay, Makoto-kun." she declared in mono-tone. "I know you're in pain. I'll do everything. Just sit back and enjoy it."

"No, you're not lis-" Makoto's words were muffled by a sudden kiss from Kotonoha. Her body pressed up against his. In his condition, he knew he couldn't do any thing to stop her.

* * *

Makoto stared at the sleeping girl next to him; her nude body pressed against him under the covers, her head rested gently on his chest.

"Kotonoha, please," Makoto whispered. "I just want you to be normal again. I know that I've hurt you, but that doesn't mean that you should blame yourself." Makoto slowly inched his bandaged arms around her. They began to shake from the pain. "It's all my fault. I did this. Please, just be angry with me. Break up with me. Hate me. I don't care. You have to stop doing this to yourself."

"Makoto-kun," Kotonoha muttered, opening eyes as bright and lifelike as ever. Her joyful visage was soon replaced with a more stern one. Makoto felt a sharp pain on his left cheek. Shocked, he realized she slapped him. "This is the last time I'll forgive you for this. Got it?" she asked as she hopped out of bed and began to redress.

"Sure." Makoto was releived . She was finally back to normal.

"I love you, Makoto-kun." she replied joyfully.

Things seemed to be going alright now. After a few seconds of silence, she looked at him expectantly. All he had to do was say it back. It would be easy. That was how he felt. Wasn't it? Of course. Or maybe not. But after what just happened, there was no telling how she would react if he didn't say it back.

"I love you too, Kotonoha." Makoto's gut sank and he began to sweat. He felt like he was lying.

* * *

"Look, I know she's your girlfriend, but do you have to bring her here all the time?" whispered the short, black haired woman in front of him.

"But, Mom-" Makoto started to say.

"Makoto, please don't bring her here anymore. She's so creepy. You should have seen the way she was when you were missing. She kept coming by the house asking if you were back; acting like she didn't hear me when I told her to leave. You wouldn't believe the amount of times I've had to call the police. She just scares me. That's all." Makoto's mother had a very worried look on her face.

"Fine." Makoto said as he walked back into the living room. "Kotonoha, uh, come on. Lets go out to eat somewhere."

"Would you like to join us, Mrs. Itou?" Kotonoha asked gingerly.

"No thanks." Mrs. Itou replied with an air of uncomfortability unnoticed by Kotonoha.

"Well, see you later, Mom." Makoto said anxiously as he herded Kotonoha out of the apartment.

It had been several months since the incident with Sekai. His wounds were long since healed and things were more or less back to normal. The second term had started and their anniversary was fast approaching. Makoto felt a sudden calm as he walked with his girlfriend; kissed by the warm September sun.

"Your mother's really nice, Makoto-kun." Kotonoha said, breaking him away from his thoughts. "I think she likes me a lot."

"Yeah," Makoto falsely agreed. "but maybe you shouldn't come by so often."

"Don't be silly, I love your house. It's such a relaxing place." she said, once again missing the point.

Should he have just come out and said it? No. That wasn't a good idea. Besides, She had gotten a bit better. She was basically the same girl he'd started out with except for one monumental difference.

"Makoto-kun, are you okay? Your face is all red and your nose is bleeding."

"Yeah, I'm fine." he said, embarassedly wiping the blood away.

Everything had fallen into place. Life still had it's inconveniences every once in a while like the unsightly scars on his hands, knees, and back or the occasional kid at school gawking and asking 'If you were strapped to a chair for two months, how did you use the bathroom?'

A detail he'd rather not speak of.

By then, he was used to it; all of the stupid questions and dirty looks, like he deserved what happened to him. He was even used to being shunned by the people he believed to be his friends. That was fine with him. He didn't need Taisuke or any of them as long as he had Sekai.

Sekai?

No, no, Kotonoha. He meant Kotonoha. Sekai was the bitch who kidnapped him and tried to kill him. Why was he thinking about her?

Makoto sighed. Despite a few...lingering thoughts, life was great and nothing could possibly change that.

"Makoto-kun! Are you even listening?" Kotonoha asked, clearly annoyed.

"Of course I am. Don't be silly." Makoto said under a false smile.

"Well, then answer it."

Of course. It was his cell phone. How did he not notice his loud, chiming ringtone?

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Mr. Makoto Itou?" the female voice inquired.

'Yes." he replied.

"I'm Yuriko Kaname from Takahashi General Hospital. Due to the current mental state of Ms. Saionji, her child has been placed into your custody."

"What?"

"You _are_ the child's father, aren't you?"

**Not to insult your intelligence, but I'm sure there might be at least one of you out there wondering why it's the second term when the preceding action of School Days was set during the second term. Well, Decisions as of now, is currently set about one year after episode 1 and therefore, nine months after Sekai's pregnancy.**


	6. Endings and Beginnings

**As sad endings form new beginnings, new beginnings form sad endings.**

**read.**

A lively look returned to Kotonoha's as she cut herself a slice of vanilla cake. She wasn't very hungry, but she needed something to cheer her up. The violet-haired girl plunged the white fork into the slice and quickly took a bite. It was good, but her mind was elswhere.

"Makoto-kun" she whispered after swallowing. Tears began to form in her eyes. Pushing her plate aside, Kotonoha looked down and watched her tears soak the mahogany table.

Why?

Why did it have to turn out this way?

She was happy. Makoto-kun was happy.

"_It's better if we stopped seeing each other." Makoto muttered to her sadly._

"_Are you saying you don't love me?!"_ _she protested as tears rolled down her cheeks._

"_It's just- things are complicated right now. I'm sorry."_

Kotonoha's sobs were louder now. Her voice became hoarse as she screamed his name.

"Makoto-kun!!!"

_Kotonoha waited patiently on a roof bench. Any second now, he'd show up and they could eat the lunch she'd prepared. Kotonoha looked at her cell phone. He was twenty minutes late. Lunch was almost over. _

_Where could he be?_

_Kotonoha then took it upon herself to check his classroom to see if he was still there._

_As she trekked across the hallway, she saw Sawanaga. Kotonoha quickly averted her eyes, hoping he wouldn't notice her. It was too late._

"_Katsura~chan, what are you doing walking in these empty hallways all alone?" His voice was as annoying as ever. Despite that, Kotonoha did her best to be polite._

"_Um, could you please move out of the way? I have to find Makoto-kun."_

"_Makoto? He's not here today." Sawanaga's voice became flat. "Just like yesterday and the day before. I don't get why you're even with a guy like him. After all that's happened, you should be with someone kinder." Sawanaga grabbed her hands. "Kotonoha, I would never betray you the way he did back then."_

"_No." She cried, snatching her hands back. "So cheating is wrong, but rape's fine?"_

"_I just-"_

"_Men like you are the worst." She spat as she walked past him only to hear the bell ring as she reached Makoto-kun's class. She popped her head in quickly. He wasn't there._

_After school, Kotonoha decided to skip her student council meeting to go see Makoto-kun. Just as she left the building, Sawanaga came up to her yet again. His expression was different this time. It was one of regret._

"_I was thinking a lot about what you said today…I just want to say… I'm sorry for what I did. At the time, I thought that you wanted it too, but…thinking back on it…It was wrong of me to force myself on you, but that doesn't mean I've given up though. I'll earn back your trust and eventually your love no matter long it takes." The passion in his voice was palpable. "We can start slow at first. As slow as you want. Okay?"_

"_Since you're Makoto-kun's friend, I'll accept your apology, but my answer is still 'no.'"_

_The two were blanketed by a long silence. It felt like hours._

"_B-but-" He mustered up._

"_Sawanaga-san," She said._

_Sawanaga gulped as he moved closer "Yeah."_

"_Kuroda-san has feelings for you, chase after her instead." _

_A perverted smile crept across Sawanaga's face "Really? Well now that you mention it, she is kinda cute. I've gotta go find her!"_

_Sawanaga ran back into the school as fast as he could._

_Kotonoha giggled as she made her way to the train station. What an idiot. She tried to call Makoto-kun. It went straight to voicemail again._

_What was going on with him?_

_Was he in danger again?_

_Was he with someone?_

_Kotonoha shook her head as she boarded the train. He was probably just sick._

Kotonoha tried to calm herself down. She blinked back the flood coming form her eyes only to fall into despair yet again.

"No matter what I do for you; no matter what I am for you, we can't just be together, can we?!!! I just want you hold me! I just want you by my side! Don't you realize that?! Nothing else matters!!!"

_Kotonoha's face lit up as the door opened to reveal a short woman with long black hair._

"_Hello, Mrs. Itou. Is Makoto-kun home?"_

"_Makoto, It's that girl!" Makoto's mother yelled with a distant "Okay." heard in the background._

_The small figure disappeared into the apartment. Anoher figure soon emerged from it. _

"_Makoto-kun!" Kotonoha exclaimed as she reached out to hug him._

"_Kotonoha, can't you see my hands are full?" The tired boy before her snapped. He was holding a baby in one arm and three bottles and a stuffed bear in the other. His eyes looked as if they were dead._

"_Oh, sorry, Makoto-kun." Kotonoha said sadly. "I was just wondering if maybe you want to go out to dinner this Friday. I've been trying to call you, but I keep getting your voicemail."_

"_Oh that," Makoto replied " Yeah, I keep forgetting to charge it. Oh, and I can't go to dinner."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Kotonoha, I have a kid now. I can't just leave this little guy alone every time you wanna go do something."_

"_You could get your mother to watch him." she suggested._

"_My mom said she wants nothing to do with- Actually, hold on." Makoto began to look even sadder. "Mom, could you just watch Kosuke for a bit?" Kotonoha could barely make out Mrs. Itou's responses. "Because I need to talk to her alone…It'll be really quick, I promise!"_

Kotonoha stopped crying. She looked over at the knife she used to cut the cake. It was larger and sharper than the ones she usually used.

"_What's so complicated?! You're my boyfriend! We love each other!"_

"_I have a son now, Kotonoha. And things are about to get a whole lot worse soon. My mom's decided to kick me and Kosuke out. She can't support the three of us. Not to mention how angry she was when she found out about him. So far, I haven't been able to find an apartment, and even when I do have one, I'll have to work all the time just to keep me and him fed and with a roof over our heads. It wouldn't be fair to you if you were with a guy like me."_

"_Wh-what if I let you stay with me, at my house? We have tons of space. My parents are very wealthy so we can all live comfortably together." Kotonoha propositioned desperately._

"_Your parents would never agree to that. Besides, I don't want to drag you down with me. This is my burden to bear, not yours. I'm sorry. It's over."_

"_You idiot!" she sobbed _

"_What?" Makoto looked puzzled. He slowly began to piece things together. "You never used to call me 'Idiot.'"_

"_Did that upset you?" she asked. "I'm sorry. I promise I'll never call you that again, just please don't break up with me!"_

"_Sekai used to call me that…" Makoto thought aloud, " The way you've been acting since…you know. How could I not have noticed this? The outspokenness, scolding me all the time, I though you were just coming out of your shell, but… that's not you. That's Sekai."_

_Kotonoha's eyes became lifeless, her voice monotone. "Saionji-san seduced you even after your promise to me. I had to be more like her. If she's the one you want, I have to suit your needs. If you want me to be Saionji-san, I can be Saionji-san. I can be anyone you desire."_

"_Stop it!" Makoto yelled with a fury that caused Kotonoha to take a few steps back. He moved closer and put his hands on her shoulders. "Spare me the soulless eye routine! You're not Sekai! I don't want you to be Sekai! And you're not a zombie either! You're Kotonoha Katsura! Act like it!"_

"_If it's what you want-"_

"_Fuck what I want! I thought I'd gotten through to you back then. It's not about me! Plenty of other guys would kill to date you! Taisuke likes you! Go out with him! Just please leave me alone. I can't be your boyfriend like this. Just- just go back to the way you were…before you met me."_

"_But that's not me either. What I am is your girlfriend, Makoto-kun. That is me. Youu mean more to me than anything. I can't live without you. Even knowing that, do you still want to break up?"_

_Makoto turned his head away. "Yes, you have to learn to live without me."_

Kotonoha took the knife and held it up to her wrist; the white and blue frosting smugding up against her pale skin.

"_What do you mean? How could you say 'No' to something like this?"_

"_Fairly easily." The balding, purple-haired man answered back. "Kotonoha, you have to understand. You're in high school. You'll meet someone new. We are not taking in some stray and his kid just because you think you're in love with him."_

"_I AM in love with him! He's the only boy I'll EVER love!"_

"_Kotonoha," said a woman with short black hair and breasts twice the size of Kotonoha's. "You're young. you don't understand. Not to mention that he has a child from another girl. We have no ties with either of them."_

_Kotonoha was growing desperate. "You're wrong, Mother! He has ties to us. I tie him to us, and so does his second child!" Kotonoha began to rub her belly._

"_You're not pregnant." Her father said coldly._

"_I am!" she defiantly maintained._

"_You can't be!" Her mother was teeming with rage "Do you know what that would do to us? Do you know what that would do to our social status? We'd become pariah's. They'd laugh behind our backs! Did you even think about the shame you'd bring on our family?"_

"_Who would do business with a man who can't even control his own daughter?!" her father yelled. _

"_Don't you ever think? How could you be so stupid?!"_

"_M-mother, I just- Father, I-"_

_Her father's eyes were full of disappointment. "I don't know what to do with you."_

_Kotonoha's parents left her in tears as they walked down the hallway to their room._

_How could one lie cause so much damage?_

Kotonoha heard a large THUD coming from her parent's room. Quickly, she put th knife down, ran to the room, and knocked on the door.

"Mother? Father? It's me! I'm- is everything okay?" Kotonoha received no response from the other side of the door. Finally, she cracked it open to see if they were alright.

Red.

She opened the door completely to find two corpses. Two bodies became two objects during her breakdown in the kitchen. One, her mother, lying limply on the bed; the other, her father, sprawled out on the floor with a knife in his hand. Both were drenched in pools of fresh, red, blood still spurting, albeit slowly, from their throats.

Kotonoha stepped backwards, and with a look of shock and fear, let out a horrified scream.


	7. Samaritan

**Is any act truly selfless?**

**read.**

"_I need you. I love you._

_I'm so lonely._

_I want to see you._

_I want you to hold me._

_Help me forget."_

The alarm blared loudly, wresting Kotonoha from her dreams and plunging her into another sunny day, ironically juxtaposing the hell her life had become.

Mother.

Father.

They were both gone. Their soaked, red bodies still ever-present in her mind.

Kotonoha fought back the oncoming tears and began to brush her dark violet hair. Sitting in front of a mirror, she could see her eyes. They were tired, but they were alive. She was doing her best to keep herself out of that all too familiar daze that she knew Makoto-kun hated.

Maybe if she tried really hard and focused on getting by in the real world, rather than escaping to her own, he would come back to her.

Kotonoha shook her head. She knew better. Things weren't good for either of them. Now they both had children to take care of. It was time to let him go.

Kotonoha looked over at her dresser. On it lied the seashell necklace that Makoto-kun made for her that summer.

"_Here, since we weren't able to go to the beach, I made you this."_

_Kotonoha stared lovingly at the little pink seashell connected to a thin black rope._

"_I love it." she cried as she wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry I was gone all summer."_

_Makoto-kun smiled his usual carefree smile "It was a family trip, Kotonoha. It would have been wrong not to go."_

_Makoto-kun, so kind, so compassionate._

"_Well, to make up for it," Kotonoha started, peaking Makoto-kun's interest, "How about I give you my special service tonight?"_

_Makoto-kun blushed cutely._

She couldn't let him go. Not now, not ever. Kotonoha knew in her heart that she could never love another man. It had to be him.

Kotonoha walked into the bathroom and picked up her toothbrush.

She looked away from the next mirror. Why was she thinking about Makoto-kun? Her parents were dead and her thoughts were still on Makoto-kun.

How vile. How disgusting. How dare she mourn her relationship over her parents? And what about Kokoro? Kotonoha wasn't the only one dealing with their deaths. What kind of monster is so selfish?

Kotonoha spat. "Stop it, stop it! I'm sorry, just stop it!"

Despicable creature.

"SHUT UP!" She yelled, punching her reflection as hard as she could.

Fortunately, the mirror didn't break. Kotonoha wiped away the tears forming in her eyes and slipped out of he lavender nightgown, adorning her usual school uniform. She sighed and rushed down the stairs of their new home to make breakfast.

The new house smelled of paint, a customary scent to any new home. Kotonoha dug through the various cardboard boxes which laid sprawled out on the kitchen floor.

Finally she found it. The rice steamer.

Kotonoha let her mind wander as muscle memory took over.

Father.

He killed her. He killed them both.

They said he was sick.

They said it ran in her family.

Could she someday lose her mind too?

Was she already losing it?

Boyfriend.

Parents.

Sanity.

It was as if her whole world was crashing down around her.

"_And- and then I saw them. Father had a knife in his hand. They were both on the floor covered in blood." _

_The overweight investigator across from her looked at her sympathetically before handing her a tissue. He waited patiently for her top blow her nose. "And then what did you do?"_

_Kotonoha shuddered "W-well, I- first I checked their pulses. I knew they couldn't still be alive with those wounds, but…" Kotonoha remembered the smell of their blood, the fleeting warmth of their bodies._

"_I understand." Assured the officer. "Please continue."_

"_Well, then I called the police and- I- I think that's it."_

"_Says here you have a younger sister." He said, looking over a paper from her file. "Could you tell me where she was on the night in question?"_

"_Sh-she was sleeping over her friend Uzuki-chan's house." Kotonoha stammered._

"_I see," the man sighed, leaning back in his chair and grabbing his lighter from the table between them. "It must have been very traumatic to see your parents like that. I'm glad someone her age didn't have to go through that too."_

"Thank goodness." Kotonoha sighed, now setting the table as she heard the slow steps of small feet. Kotonoha had to do her best to hide the pain. She knew she had to be strong for Kokoro. "Good morning." Kotonoha said cheerily.

Kokoro gave Kotonoha a hopeless passing glance before taking a seat.

Kotonoha looked at the sad girl. She hadn't spoken much for the last few days. The cheerful, energetic Kokoro that Kotonoha was so accustomed to was nowhere to be found.

Kotonoha tried once again to bring that smile back. "Uh, Kokoro, I made all your favorites, see? Spinnach and cheese omelet, mis-"

Kokoro didn't waste any time. She grabbed her chop sticks and began to eat her bowl of rice, stopping every so often for a sip of tea or a bite of her omelet. She was quiet throughout the whole meal, despite Kotonoha trying ever so often to stir up conversation.

The sad young girl stood up and grabbed her backpack.

"Kokoro," pleaded Kotonoha "are you full? You barely touched your miso soup."

Kokoro turned to face her older sister. Her voice was sharp and cold. "I'll only eat Mother's. It was her specialty."

Kotonoha was left dumbfounded. Defeated, she began to bring the dishes into the kitchen as her younger sister left the house for school. Motehara Elementary was about two blocks away; an integral reason for choosing this house to call their new home. Kokoro always had so much fun at school. As soon as Kotonoha walked through the door, Kokoro would chime on and on about the things that went on in her class. Kotonoha thought it would bring Kokoro's smile back if she could be closer to the place she loved so much. After all, it would be impossible for them to continue living in the house where their parents-

Kotonoha took a deep breath.

No more crying. Things were going badly, but she had to persevere.

Kotonoha grabbed her book bag from the floor and headed for the train station.

* * *

Otome looked out the window to the right of her. From there she could see it all; The boys and girls gym classes, late students arriving, and even the occasional skipper. Relaxing in the warmth of the sun's rays, she could contently dream as Mr. Hayakawa droned on.

She couldn't say there was much going on in her life at the moment. Karen joined the girls basketball team. Otome thought it would be fun having her little sister on the same team as her, but as time went on Otome began to get less and less playing time. Everyone praised Karen. It was as If Otome didn't even exist. It wasn't her fault that Karen was taller than her. It wasn't her fault that Karen was prettier or had larger breasts. Yet, it wasn't Karen's fault either.

"I guess I'm no longer needed." Otome sighed.

"Needed for what?" whispered the curious brown-haired boy beside her.

He was really cute. The sunlight gleamed off of his glasses as he blinked his dark-grey eyes.

"N-nothing." Blushing a little, Otome quickly changed the subject. "Are you new here? I haven't seen you around."

"N-no." he said shyly. "My grades improved and my parents had me switched into this class."

Otome extended her hand in a friendly manor. "Welcome. My name's-"

"Otome Katou." the boy interrupted. Otome could hear a hint of irritation in his voice. "I know that. I've been sitting next to you for almost month."

"Oh my god, really?" Otome was embarrassed. How could she have missed him?

"It's because I'm short isn't it? Hardly anyone notices me."

"Sorry." she replied remorsefully.

"It's fine." he replied, suddenly perking up. Today things are going to change. I'm not going to be pushed around anymore." The boy smiled at her confidently. Otome couldn't help but admire his bravado. "I'm Yuuki Ashikaga and from now on, I am a man!"

Ashikaga?

Otome figured he was probably Chie Ashikaga's little brother.

Ashikaga was the one responsible for the incident at the basketball team's party last year.

Otome could still picture that sinister smile as the projector showed her mounting Makoto. She remembered the desperation in Nanami's eyes as she fell to the floor, crying about her own viewable exploits. However, the thing that truly stuck with her the most that day was the anguished look of a girl she'd only just met; the same girl who nearly stopped her confession to him. His girlfriend, Saionji.

Although girlfriend was a bit of a stretch. After all of the girls he was with day in and day out, one couldn't really consider themself his girlfriend.

Katsura.

Why did Katsura suddenly appear in her mind? Sure she was the only one to openly call Makoto her boyfriend, but-

Otome's train of thought broke when she realized everyone was staring at her.

No, not at her. At Ashikaga-kun.

It wasn't that surprising. His announcement was pretty loud. Not to mention he was standing up.

"Ashikaga, if you would please take you seat," Mr. Hayakawa started. Suddenly, the lunch bell chimed and Ashikaga quickly slinked out of the classroom ahead of the others, eager to avoid ridicule.

It wasn't long before the rest of the class had disappeared as well. The only others remaining were Minami, Kumi, Natsumi, and the perpetually-dismal Katsura, head down and nose in a book as usual. Not that she cared. It wasn't surprising given that Makoto stopped coming to school. However, recently there was something different about Katsura that Otome just couldn't figure out. Just then, she noticed her three friends standing sround her expectantly.

"Otome, what's with you today?" Natsumi asked. "You didn't respond to the note I passed, didn't text me back, hell, you didn't even say hi to us this morning."

"Sorry, I guess I've just been a little distracted lately." How could she not be? Karen was the star of the basketball team. Otome may have never been that good, but she at least got recognition now and again.

No. That wasn't what was bothering her. Not today, despite trying to convince herself.

"Why do you keep looking over at Katsura?"

She was looking at Katsura? Otome hardly noticed.

"Trying to decide what to do to her today?" Kumi asked slyly.

"I don't know. I think we should leave her alone for a while." Minami apprehensively suggested.

"Why?" Natsumi asked skeptically.

"Don't you watch the news?"

Otome gave an irritated glare. Who watches the news?

The other two remained silent, cementing the message that they had no idea what Minami was talking about.

"Well, anyway," She continued; wind back in her sails. "Apparently the head of Katsura Pharmaceuticals killed himself."

"Suicide? Really?" Natsumi asked.

"Not only that, he took his wife with him."

Katsura. Otome couldn't believe that girl's parents were dead. The poor girl was an orphan now.

"Ha! No way. This is just too great!" Kumi laughed loudly.

"Kumi, don't-" Natsumi turned away, as unsure look on her face.

"Come on, you hate her as much as I do. The stuck up bitch had it coming; always looking down on everyone, acting all high and mighty."

Disgusting

"Shut up, Kumi."

"What?"

"Would you listen to yourself? Do you have any idea how messed up you sound? Her parents are dead for God's sake! No one deserves that; not even Katsura."

"But she-"

"She what? What could she have possibly done to deserve this? What is it about her that makes you think she deserves this? I hate Katsura too, but we're better than that."

"Whatever." Kumi said as she ushered the other two out the door. "We're going to lunch, you coming?"

Otome could still feel the thick, post-fight tension in the air. "You guys go on ahead. I'll catch up."

It was odd, but somehow Otome actually found herself pitying Katsura. She figured it would be best to ask Katsura how she was once the other girls left.

Stepping over to Katsura's desk, she bent over to get at eye-level with the girl.

"Um, hi Katsura."

Katsura remained silent, only moving to turn a page.

"What are you reading?" she tried.

"Passion Paradise by Myabi Kishimoto." Kotonoha replied dryly.

"Sounds interesting. What's it about?"

"Buy a copy if you want to know so badly."

"I'm sorry." Otome conceded. "I was just trying to make conversation."

"Why?" Katsura snapped back. This made Otome nervous, unsure of how to respond.

"I-it's just that…"

"Why did you defend me earlier? What do you want?" Her icy voice gave Otome goose bumps.

"I just thought that it was wrong to make fun of you since… well…"

"Since my parents are dead?" Otome didn't expect Katsura to be so open about it. "Do you pity me? Do you think that you can bully me, push me around, and then say you're sorry when my mother and father die? Am I just a tool to ease your guilty conscience, or are you really using me to make yourself feel like a better person?" Katsura's voice remained eerily calm in despite her words. "Is it because you feel inadequate next to your sister? Whether you're tormenting me or trying to help me, it's all the same; just another way for you to make yourself feel big. You're pathetic. Go eat lunch with your friends."

Otome could feel her eyes well up with tears. All she was trying to do was help. Otome held them back as best as she could and continued trying to talk to Katsura. Even if Katsura didn't want her help, she knew Katsura needed it; no matter what she thought the motive was.

Otome never went to lunch. Their conversation didn't go anywhere no matter how hard she tried. Otome spent the rest of her day feeling beaten.

Maybe Katsura was right.

Maybe she was just doing this to boost her own self esteem.

As Otome walked down an empty hallway, finished with her classroom cleaning duties, Katsura's words echoed through her mind.

__

"Whether you're tormenting me or trying to help me, it's all the same; just another way for you to make yourself feel big."

Even if Katsura was right, why should her motives matter if they helped someone? She just had to figure out some way of cheering Katsura up. Rounding a corner, she heard a girl scream.

"What the hell?"

What could be going on?

Otome bolted down the hall in the scream's direction.

Finally, she approached an empty classroom. The door was closed, but she could see what was going on through the window. A small boy lied huddled on the ground while three girls kicked him relentlessly. She could hear the boy wimpering and sobbing pleas for mercy while the three girls cackled. They were clearly first years. Two of them were twins. Both had dark green hair in short pigtails. Their leader, a girl who was shorter than the other two, had long orange hair and a sinister look on her face. in her hand she held a white envelope.

"'To my dear Katou-chan.' Yuuki, you idiot. Did you really think I would let you give her this?"

Ashikaga?

"He was going to confess to me?" Otome whispered.

It was all so sudden. She had just met him.

"Gi- give that back… please…" Yukki wheezed between cries of pain.

"Loser," the twin on the left said. "You don't really think you're getting this back, do you?" the twin on the right finished.

"Let's get one thing straight, Yuuki. You're _our_ toy. You belong to _us_."

Otome had to do something. She couldn't just sit there and watch him get hurt like that.

"Risa, get the camera. Asa, get the dress." The twins did as they were told as their leader pulled out a blonde wig. "You should really be happy. Most boys would kill to have three kind loving masters like us."

Masters?

"Ooh, are we going to do it again, Chika?" The twins asked in unison

"Of course." she said as she pulled the wig over Yuuki's brown hair.

Why wouldn't Otome go in there? Was she just going to stand by and watch this? There were three of them. Surely she couldn't just waltz in there and demand that Yuuki be set free.

"What are you doing?" Otome heard a voice behind her. She turned to find Karen smiling. Her brown pigtails swaying as she tried desperately to get a glimpse at the window.

"Is something going on in there?"

Otome didn't know what to do. She wasn't sure whether she should tell Karen and get her to help save Yuuki or lie so that she wouldn't look like a terrible person for watching and not doing anything about it.

"Stop! Please!" she heard Yuuki scream.

"Oh my God, is a girl getting raped in there?" Karen asked, clearly disgusted. "Onee-chan, how could you just sit back and watch?"

Well, she got it half right.

"Move out of the way!" Karen said before pushing Otome aside and entering the room.

"Sato and the Honda Twins?" Karen said with a puzzled look on her face.

"This doesn't concern you, Katou." Sato commanded from on top of Ashikaga.

"Wow, I didn't know you were into this kind of thing."

Sato's face became red. "H-he's really a boy, okay?"

"I dunno," replied Karen. "He looks like a girl right now." Karen whipped out her cell phone and took a picture as quickly as she could. Feeling triumphant, she showed them the photo of Sato straddling him. "Now, if you don't want thins going around school, I suggest you leave this kid alone."

Without a word, the three girls ran out of the room without even noticing Otome. Karen's plan was genius. why didn't she think of that?

"Are you okay?" Karen asked, helping the boy off and removing the wig. "What's your name?"

"Y-Yuuki Ashikaga." Tears began to fall from his cheeks.

"Relax," she said, comforting him, "They won't bother you again."

"Bullied by first years, saved by a first year. I really am pathetic."

"Wait, you're not a first year?" Karen asked.

"Second." he replied.

Karen wiped his tears away. "Keep your head up, Senpai. I'm sure you're a lot cuter when you smile." Karen bent over to pick up the envelope. "This is yours, right? I saw those girls drop it." Karen stopped to read the writing on the back before handing it to him. "Is this for my sister?" she asked. "I can go get her for you if you want."

Otome's heart started to race. Karen was very kind. Although what would Otome say? He was cute, but she just met him. But, could she really turn him down after what just happened? He'd be crushed."

"Wait!" Ashikaga said. as Karen began to wallk toward the door. "I don't want anyone to see me like this!"

"Oh yeah." Karen said, giggling to herself about her absent-mindedness.

"Besides, it's- it's not f-for her…" Ashikaga's face went beet-red. He turned his head away from her. "M-my sister used to be on the basketball team and she always drags me to your games. Y-you always look so c-cool when you play."

Karen lit up. "Really? Wow, thanks. I've never been confessed to before. I never imagined it'd be someone like you, though."

"Oh." said Ashikaga, still refusing to face her.

"Well don't you wanna know my answer?"

He lowered his head. "It's okay. I understa-"

Ashikaga was stopped mid-sentence by Karen's sudden embrace. "Didn't I tell you to keep your head up?" She whispered. "I can't have my boyfriend crying all the time can I?"

The small boy turned around and returned her hug.

Otome knew it was too good to be true. She hurried out of the building, heading home. All things considered, it was for the best. Sure, she technically lost to Karen again, but they did make a cute couple. Otome preferred manlier men anyway.

Itou.

Just then, Otome knew what she had to do to help Katsura. Katsura was always happiest when she was with Itou. All Otome had to do was find him.

"Katou?"

* * *

"Excuse my intrusion." Otome said politely before entering his shabby domicile. There wasn't much to his home. It was a simple, small apartment consisting solely of a living room and small bathroom. There were a few empty bottles on the floor, but his blue and white futon was folded neatly in the corner.

"I'm sorry, but I can't really spend money on tea anymore. Would water be okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you." Otome replied.

"So," Makoto finally said, while placing the brown-haired baby on the bare floor beside him. "What did you want to talk to me about?" Makoto's expression was a bit antsy. After all, he had another job to get to pretty soon. He didn't have time to sit around and chat with old friends.

"I- I have a favor to ask." Otome finally admitted.

Favor? What could she possibly need him to do?

"Look, in case it wasn't already obvious to you, I'm not someone who has a lot of free time these days."

"How about a couple hours on Sunday?"

Makoto was even more confused now. Perhaps she wanted a date or to sleep with him. No. That couldn't have been it. She made it perfectly clear the last time he saw her that she no longer wanted anything to do with him.

"What's this all about?"

Otome took a while to answer. "…It's Katsura."

Kotonoha.

Makoto had all but forgotten about her. Given his circumstances, it wasn't surprising. He was always stressed out. He was working two jobs and struggling. It wasn't easy supporting himself and a child on minimum wage. He was only on his third week and his savings and paychecks were both completely spent. Not to mention that both his landlord and child services were constantly on his ass. He'd heard about what happened to Mr. and Mrs. Katsura. It was tragic, but it wasn't his problem. He had his own issues to deal with. Kotonoha would have to manage on her own.

"Look, I can't. Give her my regards, okay?"

"Why don't _you_ give them to her?" Otome retorted. "Katsura's going through something I can't even imagine right now. It's partly your fault. Take responsibility."

"Did _I_ kill her parents?" Makoto snapped.

"No, but maybe if you hadn't fucked her head up so much, she wouldn't be so destroyed right now."

"Don't act like your hands are clean in this. It was mostly your bullying."

"You gave her something to care about." Otome began to raise her voice. "You let her fall in love only to yank it away."

"She's practically obsessed with me. She thinks she needs me."

"Let her need you! Give her what she needs! It's the only way she'll get through this."

Makoto calmed down. "At most I'll be a bandage."

"Some treatments are painful. Patients need to be anesthetized. If you don't at least numb the pain, she'll never heal."

She had a point, but something was still off. "So what's in this for you?" Makoto asked. "Why are you helping her?"

Otome leaned back and stared at the brown-sploched ceiling. "I don't even know." she lazily replied. "Guilt? Self-satisfaction? The goodness of my heart? Why the hell does it matter if good will come out of it?"

Makoto sighed. Otome's reasoning was off-putting. He was still unsure of whether or not he could go through with it.

Did Kotonoha really need him?

Could he help any more than he could hurt?

It was just too much pressure for just one man,

but in the end he had to make a choice.


	8. Hold my Hand

**What is Love?**

**read.**

"I was happy."

"_You- you talked to him?" This was pretty surprising. She had expected Katou to just give up and yet here she was, still clinging to her false hopes of redemption. Kotonoha couldn't contain the emotion in her voice. "How is he doing? Is he eating well? Is Kousuke-chan doing alright?" The mere mention of the boy's name stirred up the flurry of emotions she had tried so hard to keep hidden. She hated Katou, but if she could bring Makoto-kun back to her, Kotonoha would be- _

_Wait. No. _

_What was she thinking? _

_She had to think about Makoto-kun's feelings. She couldn't burden him with her own problems. It was hard enough trying to take care of her cold, distant sister. Not to mention herself. Makoto-kun was intuitive. He'd pick up on her depression no matter how hard she tried to hide it. He'd worry._

_Makoto-kun? _

_Makoto-kun, Makoto-kun, Makoto-kun. Was that all she ever thought about?_

_Her parents were dead, Kokoro was hurting, and still she was worried about some boy._

_Shut up._

"_I asked him to come see you." Katou said, leaning against Kotonoha's desk in the over-populated classroom._

"_Tell him not to. Tell him not to worry. Tell him I'm fine." Kotonoha's voice was once again monotone._

_He doesn't care._

_Makoto-kun cared. He just had his own problems to deal with._

_He never cared._

_Shut up._

_Katou suddenly took on a very sad expression. _

"_He… said he's not coming" Katou replied hesitantly._

"_What was that?" Kotonoha froze. Her pupils shrunk and her eyes widened. _

_This had to be a mistake. Kotonoha didn't want to burden Makoto-kun, but didn't mean she wanted him to stop caring about her._

_He doesn't love you. _

_The voice began to echo it's cruel words in Kotonoha's mind._

_SHUT UP! Of course Makoto-kun loved her. He always told her so._

_Didn't you ever notice the hesitation in his voice?_

_LIAR!_

_You're the liar. Don't delude yourself into thinking he cares about you._

_The necklace from the beach; the stuffed tiger from the fireworks festival; The dress he'd gotten her for her birthday._

_They were all tokens of his affection._

_Gifts? Is that the best you can do? A seashell on a string? Pathetic. A stuffed animal that he won at a __carnival game? As if that means anything. _

_The dress-_

_The dress? That revealing thing? Tell me, Kotonoha. What did you two do after trying it on?_

"_Katsura? Katsura! Are you okay?" Katou asked, panicking at the sight of Kotonoha's catatonia. _

"_W-we… made love…"_

"_What?"_

_You made love. How about that time he came over for a swim? How many times did you have to clean __that pool? _

_Or the week his mother was away; you spent the whole week at his house doing nothing __but eating, sleeping, and fucking._

_Stop it!_

_Face it, he doesn't love you. He loves your body. He loves fucking you, doesn't he? _

_You little slut._

"_Mr. Hayakawa, something's wrong with Katsura!" a fading voice echoed_

"_He- he loves …me…" Kotonoha stammered as she felt herself get led by the hand somewhere._

_Loves you? What does he even know about you? When has he ever asked how you were doing? When has he ever been interested in how you feel?_

"If that's the way it has to be..."

* * *

"What have I done?"

Makoto lowered his head as he mopped the foul-smelling Pier Burger restroom.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"_I'm sorry, but… no…"_

"_How could you? Don't you care about her at all? Do you even really love her?"_

A question he found himself still unable to answer.

"Damn,… what a mess!"

* * *

Otome sighed as she submerged her naked body into the bath. It was hard to relax. She felt defeated, pathetic. No matter how hard she tried, nothing was working the way it was supposed to. Makoto said no, Katsura had a nervous breakdown.

"Chh… as if anyone wouldv'e noticed."

But was it really alright just to bring her to the nurse's office? What could bed rest have done? Maybe she needed professional help.

Maybe she shouldn't have been so quick to leave. What made her think that Katsura would be fine?

"Well," Otome reasoned aloud, "I did leave her his new adress."

Otome knew she was just lying to herself. After all, Makoto was so adamant about not seeing her. Otome knew in her heart that their meeting wouldn't go well.

Yet, in an odd way, Otome actually felt kind of happy. She did her best.

No. That wasn't it. She was happy because even though she had failed to help Katsura, she could find solace in the fact that she herself wasn't as miserable.

Otome drained the tub and wrapped herself in her blue towel as she neared the bathroom door.

"What kind of monster am I?" Otome whispered as she opened the door to find Karen smiling cheerily with her own pink towel.

"Monster? What monster?"

"N-nothing. It doesn't concern you." Otome said as she tried to pass Karen. "Onee-chan, is something bothering you?"

"No." Otome replied, her face turning red with frustration.

"What's wrong?" she asked. Suddenly it looked as if a light bulb went off in her head. "Oh, I see, you feel ashamed for not saving Yukki-kun earlier. I understand. You were probably too scared. But you don't need to worry. I took care of it. Although I have to adm-"

Karen's fast, loud, copious amount of words began to take it's toll on Otome. Karen just would not shut up.

"-which was a little weird considering that he passed so well for a girl, but oh my God, if you see him dressed like a guy he is the cutest thing ever! And get this, he asked me to be his girlfriend! Can you believe tha-"

"This isn't about him!" Otome snapped, finally reaching her breaking point. "And jeez, would you shut up for once, you're giving me a headache!"

Karen was taken aback by her sister's harsh words for a moment. Then, taking a deep breath, she relaxed and spoke kindly.

"So then, what _is_ the problem? Clearly something is upsetting you. Let's talk about it."

"Alright," Otome conceded, knowing how stubborn Karen can be. ",but can I at least put some clothes on first?"

"Right." Karen replied, lightly tapping her pigtailed head with her fist.

* * *

"_Liar." a harsh voice whispered in the darkness._

"_Murderer." a female voice echoed._

"_I-I'm sorry." Kotonoha cried. _

_Her parents appeared to her, drenched in blood._

"_Disgusting."_

Kotonoha shot up form the bed, startling the school nurse.

"Oh, Miss Katsura. I was just about to wake you. School is over."

Kotonoha took some time to survey her surroundings. She was in the infirmary.

"Wh-what am I doing here?" Kotonoha asked quietly.

"I dunno," The blue-haired woman replied without interest. "I think you collapsed or something."

"Collapsed?" Kotonoha tried to remember what she was doing before she woke up there.

Nothing.

Oddly, a clue appeared in the form of a small piece of paper in her hand.

_Fujiwara Heights, apartment 256._

_If you wanna see him, go there._

_-Katou._

Kotonoha smiled to herself. Katou might not have had the best intentions, but she couldn't help but feel grateful.

"Makoto-kun."

* * *

"I'm done." Makoto declared to his manager with anguish.

"Great," replied the tall, good-looking college dropout. "Now do me a favor and work the cash register until closing."

Until closing? Makoto couldn't do that. His shift was over in twenty minutes. This wasn't his only job and he really couldn't risk missing a day.

"Um," Makoto started, trying to think of an excuse. "Isn't that Sagara's job?"

"Shin-kun, are you ready yet?" Asked a young woman with short brown hair that framed her face as she approached the manager.

"Ushio Sagara I swear you get hotter every time I look at you." The manager said gingerly.

"Dumbass, flattery will get you nowhere." she replied flatly. "You'd better take me somewhere nice this time."

"Of course." he grinned.

Sagara turned to face Makoto. Her ruby red lips released three little words dressed in her angelic voice. "Itou, was it?"

"Y-yeah…" She was gorgeous. Her sapphire eyes glistened with a kindness that even the fluorescent bulbs of a fast food ceiling couldn't dim. She was wearing make up, but not a lot. She had the kind of face that didn't need it.

"I'm sorry you have to cover for me tonight. I hope it's not an inconvenience." Her every word was a melody all it's own, played by the most beautiful harp in symphony.

"No, not at all!" What was he doing? No problem? What about his son? Surely staying qualified as an inconvenience.

Then there was the guilt.

Not only did he feel bad about leaving his son alone at night for even longer, he felt like he was being unfaithful. Sure, he and Kotonoha were no longer together, but it wasn't as if he could just erase his feelings for her. Although as Makoto thought about it, for the last two weeks it was almost as if they had been erased. He hadn't so much as thought about her until Otome came to his house.

Would he forget her again?

Should he forget her again?

Just then, Makoto's concentration was broken by a familiar face entering the restaurant as his co-workers left for their date.

It was Otome's little sister, Karen. She looked a bit different since middle school. Her breasts were bigger and her pigtails were shorter as if they had undergone some sort of size exchange. Her breasts weren't Kotonoha big, but they were still larger than most of the girls at Sakakino High.

She was holding the arm of some middle schooler. No, that wasn't right. He went to their high school. Makoto remembered seeing him in the library talking to Kotonoha a few times during their first year. They seemed to be pretty good friends.

Makoto smiled at his Kouhai and her diminutive boyfriend as they approached the register.

"Itou-Sempai?" She excitedly exclaimed. "No way! It's been so long. I don't think I ever see you at school. What are you doing working at Pier Burger?"

"Umm… that's…" Makoto stammered nervously. He couldn't tell her about his kid. It was way too shameful to talk about. Suddenly, a light went off in Karen's head.

"Wait a second… I know what this is about." Karen's look turned from a happy-go-lucky grin to complete disgust in two seconds flat.

"Oh yeah, that thing you were going to talk to Itou about." The shy little boy replied.

"Okay," Karen said, still trying to keep her enthusiasm. "Yukki-kun, you stay here and take care of these orders. Itou-Sempai and I have some things to discuss." Karen resolved as she dragged Makoto out the back door.

"W-wait! You're not allowed to do that!" Makoto yelled as he was pushed and pulled along by his ever-determined Kouhai.

"Give him hell, Karen!" he heard the boy yelled in the back ground as they neared their destination.

There wasn't much to the back of Pier Burger. There was a dumpster, two alleyways, and the backs of other buildings. Makoto's main issue with it was the smell. It was one of the grossest places to be and yet he often found himself having to take out the trash, forcing him to visit his most hated area; a place with the foul scent of rotted fast food that wasn't extremely appetizing to begin with.

Makoto shook Karen off and stared at her intensely.

What did she want?

Was it really important enough to drag him from his job?

"Ahem," Karen started, getting Makoto's attention. "Itou-sempai, would you explain to me why exactly you're abandoning a girl whose parents just died?"

Damn. Not this again.

Makoto slumped his shoulders as he let out an irritated sigh. "How much did Otome tell you?"

"Enough." she replied with a fiery disposition.

"What the fuck do you even know about any of this?" Makoto fired back.

"I know that Katsura-san is hurting right now, and I know that you're the only one who can help her through this. "

Who the fuck did she think she was? She was even less involved than her sister. She didn't even know Kotonoha.

"How is any of this your business?" Makoto shouted. "Why are you and your sister trying so hard to get me to come back to her?"

"Because it's the right thing to do." Karen replied proudly. "I don't know if you noticed in middle school, but I used to always try to get into the middle of conflicts and save people. Otome was like that too. We haven't changed since then either. We do these things because we can't bear to see others in pain. Otome always told me that she would never stop standing up for the weak because of one guy she admired more than anyone. Do you know who that guy was?"

Makoto fumbled with his fingers as he remembered a distant, long-forgotten past.

_It was nearing the end of his seventh grade's second semester when a young Makoto happened upon something deplorable. _

"_Give it back!" a brown-haired girl cried as she reached for a stuffed bear held away from her by two rather immature boys playing keepaway. He had to say something. He couldn't just let it happen._

_Makoto walked up to the three just as the girl started crying. _

"_Don't you think you're a little old to be carrying around a stupid bear?" One of the boys asked, not noticing that they had company._

"_Aren't you a little old to be picking on girls?" Makoto asked, standing in a triumphant manner_

"_What do __**you**__ want?" growled the other boy._

"_Well," replied Makoto, "first I want you to give back what doesn't belong to you. Then, I 'd like you to apologize for being such immature jerks."_

"_Yeah, right, asshole." the boy fired back._

_Makoto stared daggers into the boy's eyes, waiting for him to look away; for fear to set in. _

_BAM_

_All of the sudden Makoto found himself on the ground. The boy with the bear stood over Makoto laughing as he clenched his aching stomach._

_"What do you think this is, a Sentai?__." the boy laughed as he kicked Makoto in the stomach. Makoto wrapped his arms around the boy's leg and rolled over, causing the boy to fall. Makoto then quickly got up and twisted the arm that was holding the bear. _

"_Ow! Jeez get off me!" the boy yelled in pain. The other froze, clearly the more cowardly of the two. _

_Thank goodness. Makoto didn't think he could take both of them. "Let go of the bear!" Makoto yelled back._

"_Ow!" the boy yelled._

"_Want me to break it? Let go." Makoto snapped back._

"_Okay, okay." the boy conceded as he let Makoto have the bear._

"_Good. Now I want both of you to apologize." Makoto commanded, his grip as tight as ever._

_The boy nodded at his dumbfounded friend . His friend bowed while he lowered his own head, getting about as low as someone on the ground could. "We're sorry." They both said sadly. Makoto let the boy go and shot them one more menacing look before they left the scene. _

_Makoto then walked over to the crying girl. "Here's your bear back." He said with a smile. _

_The girl wiped her tears and smiled back. Their eyes met as she took the bear, causing her to blush for a moment. "Th-thank you."_

"_Pfft…" Makoto began to laugh._

"_What?" she asked, annoyed at the ruined mood._

"_Nothing, it's just kinda funny that you have something like this at your age."_

"_Screw you." she said, kicking him._

"_Ow, jeez. I was just kidding." _

_Otome began to giggle. Her infectious laugh spread to Makoto. Before they knew it the sky became a pinkish orange._

"_Crap, I've gotta go. Mom'll kill me if I miss the train." Makoto smiled._

"_Okay, I'll see you later then." Otome said, walking in the opposite direction._

_Otome looked back for a moment. "Oh by the way, my name's Otome Katou."_

"_Makoto Itou." Makoto replied with a happy-go-lucky smile before speeding away as fast as his legs could carry him._

Makoto cringed as Karen finished the story of his life's only remotely heroic deed.

"After that…" Makoto started "Every time I saw Otome she was standing up for someone. It was kind of annoying."

"How can a guy who was that courageous ignore someone who needs him as much as Katsura does?"

Makoto sighed. "I really just did that on a whim. I saw someone do that on TV the night before and wanted to try it. I didn't realize I was helping someone. I just though it would be cool."

"You're joking, right?" Karen asked; frustrated. "You've gotta be kidding me! All that time I thought you were such a great guy. The three of us used to hang out all the time. You used to give me advice and cheer me up when I was sad. You can't tell me that was all a lie."

"No, but-"

"Then what changed, Sempai?

"I grew up!" Makoto shouted. "We all did! You wanna know the reason Otome wants to help Kotonoha so badly? It's because she feels bad for bullying her! Every day she and three other girls would trip her, make fun of her, knock her bentous over." Karen was visibly shocked. "Hell, the only reason she even feels bad is 'cause Kotonoha lost her parents." It was a hard pill to swallow, but Makoto was tired of pulling his punches to spare her feelings. He was tired of the Katou sisters' meddling. Most of all-

"You're lying." Karen announced sharply. "Otome would never pick on someone weaker."

"It's the truth." he maintained.

"It's not!" Karen protested.

"Whatever." Makoto made his way to the back door, glancing back in Karen's direction. She was clearly trying to stay calm.

"We-we're not done yet." Karen said weakly, the fire in her was gone. Makoto opened the door and walked back into the restaurant. Karen followed closely behind at a slow pace.

Makoto sighed as he approached the counter. His replacement seemed to be doing very well. He finished up with the last of a very long line of customers before turning to talk to Makoto. His face went red with anger when he saw how sad and defeated Karen looked, tugging at Makoto's sleeve and weakly muttering. "There's… no way."

"What did you do?" The boy said as he pulled his girlfriend to him and held her close.

His tone made Makoto nervous. He never thought someone so small could be so intimidating. "N-nothing really."

The boy's voice became increasingly feirce.

"What.

Did.

You.

Do?"

Makoto regained his composure. There was no way he was going to get bitched by someone half his size. "I told her the truth about her sister. That she's tormented Kotonoha day in and day out for almost two years."

"It's okay, I'll take over." the boy whispered to Karen softly.

"He has to be lying, right?" Karen sobbed.

"Just go sit down for now." He said to her.

"No," Karen replied weakly. "I want to stay and help if I can."

"Very well." he replied, smiling warmly at his tall girlfriend.

Jeez. Makoto hoped that he wasn't that sappy with Kotonoha. What made things even weirder was the height difference. Karen stood at about roughly Makoto's height, perhaps a centimeter or two taller, definitely taller than your average girl, while her boyfriend was about Kiyoura's height. She'd have definitely looked better with him than Karen did.

"Itou." the boy spoke up. Makoto was caught a bit off guard. "As you know, Katsura-san and I talked to each other a lot in the library. I suppose it's not a stretch to consider us friends." Did this kid _need_ to talk like a friggin lawyer? "When she and I would talk, no matter what the topic was to begin with, she would always steer it toward the direction of one thing." Makoto didn't respond, at least not verbally. He shot the bespectacled lad a look that told him that he understood. "You. Exactly. She always spoke so highly of you. She even went as far as to say that without you her life would have no meaning. The walls would come tumbling down. You fucking bastard." The boy's eyes were full of contempt. "Don't you realize you're the most important person in her life right now?" By then, the boy's calm, professional tone was gone. It was replaced with a voice full of malice. He didn't raise his voice, due to the amount of customers in the restaurant, but Makoto could feel his anger. "And you may think that you're so burdened by having that kid to take care of, but what about Katsura-san? She's in the same boat you are, dumbass. Who knows? Maybe you two can move in together. She has tons of money. She already has her sister to take care of so you're not burdening her _that _much. Oh, and here's the kicker, she fucking _loves you_. Even if you're not looking at her best interest it's still the best damn option for both you and your son."

Makoto was speechless. He hadn't even considered that. And yet oddly enough the thought that he hadn't felt odd, as if he'd come to that conclusion all along.

"You should go." Karen said, regaining confidence.

"She's right, Itou." The boy said, returning to his calm demeanor. "We'll stay till closing time. I've worked at places like this before, I know how to lock up. Go home, grab your clothes and your son and head to Katsura-san's."

He wasn't sure if he would follow the kid's advice, but he certainly did make a convincing argument. "Alright, I'll get going."

Makoto knew he had lost, but he wasn't angry or even sad. Kotonoha's friend was right. Being with Kotonoha was the best option for the both of them after all. As he left the building, he heard Karen speak once more.

"Yukki, he was lying, right?"

Poor girl.

Rounding a corner, Makoto realized something. He had no idea where Kotonoha's new house was.

"Damn." he said, stopping. "I guess it can't be helped." Makoto shrugged as he continued on to his house. At least he didn't have to miss his other job. The only problem was the time. It was already 17:45. His train had left a good fifteen minutes ago. Makoto began to pick up his pace. He had thirty minutes to get home and feed Kosuke before sprinting to his next train. He could have just waited for the train a little early, but his son was important to him, despite everything going on. Kosuke was a burden, but he was still Makoto's child. He couldn't just stick his flesh and blood in some orphanage, not after all of Mom's stories of growing up in one.

It was a strange feeling. Makoto never really gave much thought to his actions regarding Kosuke, aside from complaints about how tired and drained he always was, but when it came right down to it Makoto loved his son dearly. That was why he had to keep working to provide for him. However, if he was with Kotonoha maybe he could…

A car slowed to a stop beside Makoto. His mother's powder blue Nissan Stanza.

Mom rolled her window down. "Makoto, can we talk?"

* * *

"Jeez," Sekai sighed. "I understand the padded room, but is the jacket really necessary?" Sekai began to struggle anxiously in her straitjacket, making the two guards at the door nervously alert.

The doctor wrote a few things down and then spoke from across the table. "I believe we both know why you're wearing that."

The two locked eyes for what seemed like an eternity before Sekai finally spoke. "Yes, I assaulted a guard, but I was pregnant at the time. Being plopped into an insane asylum with all my hormones going nuts, not to mention the guy was being a total asshole. How else would I react?"

The doctor pushed lightly on his rimless glasses and once again began to write on whatever was in that flat, wooden clipboard. His gray bearded face smiling slightly. He probably thought it was funny.

The guy made a snarky comment about how most pregnant women are already 'crazy enough.'

She kicked him in the balls for that one.

Bastard.

It was odd how they did things here. After all, she could still kick just as well with the jacket on. Yet all the same, they bound her arms instead.

"I noticed you called this place an 'insane asylum.'" The doc finally spoke. "However, I assure you that is not the case. This is Hojou Mental Hospital. During your stay here, we do our best to attack your problem head-on and give you the tools to someday return as a constructive member of society."

"That's funny." Sekai laughed. "I read the same exact thing on the brochure."

The doctor was taken aback by her comment. He gave himself a quick second to recover.

"Be that as it may," he sighed. "Let's continue where we left off, shall we? I believe you were saying something about the school festival."

* * *

Mom sighed as smoke escaped her lips and flew out the window. She took another drag of her cigarrete. The ash fell casually beside her seat as she moved the cigarette away from her face.

Makoto never approved of his mother's heavy smoking and drinking, yet each passing day with his son made it more and more obvious why she would do such things.

As the car sped along the road, Makoto noticed the arcade and the book store. Their first date was a bit rocky, but still a rather nostalgic thought.

Wait,

Was he thinking about that to dodge the situation in front of him?

There he was in a car with his mother who he hadn't spoken to in weeks.

What did she want to say?

"Makoto," The woman finally said, seeming to try and release some of the tension in the air. "I'm sorry."

What was she doing?

This was confusing to say the least. In all his life Makoto could hardly name a time when his mother had apologized to anyone, let alone him.

"Look, Makoto. I don't know what I was thinking. I was angry, bills were piling up, and us Cna's don't make that much. I was scared."

Makoto couldn't beleive what he was hearing. Mom actually felt bad for kicking him out.

"I've been asking around about you." She continued. "Working two minimum wage jobs, living in a crappy apartment on the bad side of town. I mean, who's been watching Kosuke while you're at work?"

Makoto lowered his head in shame. "No one." He whispered softly.

"I guess you probably haven't been eating well either. A baby can be pretty expensive."

"I mostly fill up on burgers at work." Makoto admitted. "Y'know, the ones that have been under the heat lamp too long?"

His situation wasn't an easy thing to talk about. Things weren't exactly going great.

"It's okay, Mom." Makoto mustered up. "I know how hard it is to support the three of us. Kosuke and I will manage."

"No." Mom replied. "I-I've been selfish all this time. I spend tons of money on beer and cigarettes every day. I could work some extra shifts, maybe try to quit some of these bad habits. If I do that, maybe the three of us can live together again."

"Mom, you don't have to-"

"You're my child, Makoto. You're my precious baby boy no matter what mistakes you make in life. I guess for a moment I kind of forgot that."

"It's okay, Mom You don't have to worry about us."

"Makoto, please. Let me do this. Wouldn't you do the same for Kosuke?"

That hit Makoto deeply. She was right. Makoto still needed his mother. Even at his age, without her help, he couldn't survive.

"Fine," Makoto conceded. "But if you're gonna give up anything, please stop gambling."

"Aww, you're no fun." She giggled as they neared Fujiwara street.

* * *

"Kokoro, the Pizza guy should be here in about twenty minutes! I left the money and a tip on the kitchen table! I'm heading to Makoto-kun's house, so be a good little girl while I'm gone, okay?"

Kotonoha would make a great mother. She was already good at caring for Kokoro. Now all she needed to do was show how great a mother she could be to Kosuke.

It wouldn't be too hard. Kotonoha had already read all of the neccesary books on child raising. She had no doubt in her mind that as soon as Makoto saw what a good mother she was, they could all become a big happy family.

* * *

Mom parked the car. The two exited the vehicle and walked into the dank, disheveled building. Makoto felt increasingly embarassed as they walked through hallways that smelled like piss. On their way to his room they passed a number of odd characters; transvestite hookers, Otaku pedophiles, and even the occasional hikkikomori, peaking out of his door to see who was passing by. It was a disgusting place to live.

No,

That was an understatement.

It was insane to imagine that anyone of worth could actually call this place home.

He looked over to his mother as they reached the stairs.

She was holding her nose and frowning. "You seriously live here?"

At last they were on Makoto's floor. It was only a short walk to his room.

"Alright," Makoto said as he and Mom reached the door. "Just to warn you, it's pretty messy in there. I haven't really had time to clean."

"I'm sure it's no worse than your room was." She smiled as he turned the key and opened the green door, more of the paint chipping as he did so.

The view inside was shocking.

The tiny apartment was spotless save for a few cleaning supplies on the floor. And there, at the center, sitting with Kosuke in her arms was Kotonoha.

She was holding a bottle of formula to his mouth as she bore the smile of a proud mother. The content young woman looked up at him and rose.

"Hello, Makoto-kun. Welcome home." Her smile seemed sincere, but her eyes were dead.

"Koto-"

Before Makoto had time to react, Mom ran into the room without even stopping to remove her shoes.

"Mind telling me what the fuck you're doing here?" Mom spat viciously.

"Don't be silly," Kotonoha replied cheerily. "I'm feeding my son, of course."

"Kotonoha, you mind if I hold Kosuke for a bit?" Makoto asked nervously.

"Not at all." Kotonoha smiled. "Alright Kosuke-chan, Daddy's going to hold you for a while, okay?" She handed him over to Makoto. Makoto handled the rest of the feeding and began to burp Kosuke gently.

"How did you even get in here?" Mom asked, still glaring at Kotonoha.

"When I got here the door was unlocked." Kotonoha gingerly replied. "Makoto-kun, you mustn't leave the door unlocked with your baby inside. Who knows what kind of sketchy people could find him."

"Yeah, and we're looking at a prime example right now." Mom replied, pointing at Kotonoha.

The girl looked behind herself, then all around the room. "Is there someone sketchy in here with us?"she asked in an innocent voice. "I don't see anyone."

Makoto could tell that his mother was reaching her boiling point. He prayed for her as he patted the infant's back.

Mom took a deep breath. He could feel the tension rising in the air as she walked toward his oblivious ex. Mom raised her hand and let it come crashing down with great force against Kotonoha's cheek, causing her to fall to the floor.

Tears began to form in Kotonoha's eyes. Her cheek was red and swollen. "Mother, why?"

"How dare you?" Mom yelled. "What right do you have to call me mother?"

"W-we-well I just figured that s-since Makoto and I are going to be living together... a-and I'm Kosuke's new mother... so I figure that kind of makes me like Makoto's wif-"

"Don't decide things on your own!" Mom shouted again. "What the hell is wrong with you? You come in here while he's gone, clean up his house, and feed his kid and he's just supposed to accept you?"

"Of course." Kotonoha replied. "After all, we are in love. The only reason we weren't together was that he has a child,"

Makoto began to feel sick. Kotonoha was taking things way too far. He wasn't sure what to do.

"but now things are different. I have a child to take care of too. Makoto-kun, I'm sure you've come to this conclusion by now too, right?"

Makoto stayed silent.

"If we raise those two together, we can lessen both our burdens...

...and we can be together...

...forever."

Her tone made Makoto's skin crawl.

"He's not interested, stalker." Mom once again spoke up. She moved in front of Makoto with her arms stretched out as if she were protecting him.

"Why are you saying such things? We always got along so well."

Makoto gulped. Kotonoha obviously had no idea of the situation she was in.

"Got along? Bullshit!"

"What about when Makoto was missing. I used to come over and talk to you all the time."

"No, you didn't. I'd come home to find you sleeping in his bed or waiting at the table with dinner for two. You're crazy. You're bat-shit insane and the only reason I haven't called the police by now is because I know Gendou- I own the fuckin' world -Katsura's just gonna wave his magic cash around and make everything go away. Just like the last thirty times!"

Makoto could tell that struck a nerve. Mom was never big on the news. She was always the last to find everything out. This would not go well.

"My father..." said Kotonoha in a low, monotone voice. "...is dead. Both he and my mother are in the ground right now. There's not much his influence can do anymore. I used up nearly all the favors he had left buying our new house and becoming my sister's legal guardian without my age coming into question. I haven't a doubt in my mind that if you press charges I'll be sent away for a while."

Where was she going with this?

"But I'll be back. I'll get out eventually, and even while I'm in there I know my Makoto-kun will visit me every day." Makoto flinched as she looked at him. "Our love is just that strong."

"Get out." Mom said angrily.

"If you continue to be rude, Makoto-kun and I won't allow you visit our son."

"Get out!"

"You must be quiet. A baby's ears are sensitive. Makoto-kun, tell her to quiet down."

Makoto wasn't sure what to do. Everything was so complicated.

"Face it, psycho. He's clearly not in love with you."

"Shut Up!

Shut Up!

Shut Up

SHUT UP!" Kotonoha covered her ears as tears began to straem down her face.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaah" Kosuke started to cry due to the noise.

Makoto barely noticed as he stared at the girl in front of them. She looked desperate and scared.

"Tell her she's wrong, Makoto-kun." Kotonoha pleaded. "You do love me, don't you?" Kotonoha looked directly into his eyes.

Makoto wasn't escaping this one. All the same, he was tired of running away. He knew she needed him to say yes, but he was tired of lying to himself as well as to her.

Makoto gulped hard. It was now or never. He had to tell her. She was insane. It wouldn't be good for either of them if they were together.

"No." Makoto muttered.

"What?"

"Kotonoha, I don't love you. I know life is hard right now, but lying to you wouldn't be good for either of us. I'm sorry."

"I see." Kotonoha whispered. "Then I'll just have to work hard until you do love me. You'll see. If you haven't fallen for me yet, I'll-"

"Kotonoha." Makoto interrupted. "There's nothing you can do."

A thick, painful silence permeated the room.

"N-nothing? No matter what I do, you'll never fall in love with me?"

Makoto felt it at the pit of his stomach as he mustered up one final word. "No."

The air was filled with an eerie calm. Kotonoha rose, not saying a word. Something fell out of her pocket as she got up without her noticing. She didn't shed one more tear. She simply walked to the door, put her shoes on and left without showing any emotion or even glancing backward.

* * *

"I can accept this. Even if it was a lie, thank you for your smile."

* * *

Makoto was back in his old room in his mother's apartment. It was an odd feeling being back there. Lying on his bed felt somewhat nostalgic depsite lying on it less than a month ago.

So much had changed in such a short time.

Makoto opened up his cell phone and started looking through the pictures. They were nearly all Kotonoha.

What was he thinking? He knew that before opening it up, didn't he?

Makoto looked over at his bookshelf. He the complete collection of Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z manga, each book autographed by Akira Toriyama himself; a birthday gift from Kotonoha.

He had only mentioned liking DBZ as a kid once and yet somehow she knew how excited he'd get when she gave him the manga. There were too many to take with him so he had only grabbed three of four books when he moved.

Makoto turned away, trying not to think about her.

_"Kotonoha, I don't love you."_

Makoto felt sick again. He felt like he was lying to himself.

"Th-that couldn't be it. She's cute and really nice, b-but she's crazy."

Makoto's heart began to beat faster.

Makoto looked under his bed for some magazines to give him some much needed releif.

All he found was a shoe box.

He knew what was inside, he opened it anyway.

Doggy Style.

Reverse Cowgirl.

Maid Outfit.

Cat Ears.

At School.

In the park.

There were so many pictures of the two of them.

Being together.

Each picture told a story.

Kotonoha started taking them after she found out about his magazines.

_"From now on, only look at me, okay?"_

Makoto had stayed committed to that request for so long.

He couldn't-

"Gah! Stop it!" Makoto slammed his fist into the wall, denting it. "Why are you doing this to me?"

Tears began to stream down Makoto's face. "Don't tell me... don't tell me I actually miss her!"

"She was insane! She was obsessed! How could I possibly feel this way?"

Kotonoha.

Insane.

Creepy.

Loving.

Dedicated.

Gentle.

Kind.

Sweet.

Beautiful.

Just then it hit Makoto like a ton of bricks.

Without his jobs or his son to distract him, he really did miss Kotonoha. At some point he had played with the idea of joining their families, but he was too afraid.

He dissmissed it as his burden to bear.

"I was too afraid because I knew she wasn't completely stable. The thought of commiting to that was terrifying..." Makoto whispered to himself, realizing Kosuke was still sleeping in the other room.

"...but the thought of losing her... I-

...I can't bear it...

Kotonoha.

I love you."

Makoto hurried to the living room and put on his shoes.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you doing in such a hurry?" Makoto's dash to the hallway was so fast, he'd hardly noticed he had knocked down his mother.

Makoto looked at her with hopeless eyes.

"Makoto, don't."

"I love her, Mom. So much that it hurts. I just cant-"

"She's bad for you, Makoto."

"I know that! But I- I'll be back for Kosuke."

Makoto sped out the house as quickly as he could. Luckily for him, Kotonoha had left her wallet at his house. Her new adress was written on her student ID in case it got lost. It was a habit of Kotonoha's that he appreciated all the more at that moment.

* * *

Makoto pantingly arrived at the large, white house. The sky was dark now. The cold night air was made even less bearable by the strong wind that blew. Faintly, he saw a figure in the upstairs window.

Makoto couldn't wait any longer. He walked up and quickly rang the doorbell.

"Hello, Oniichan." a monotonous voice greeted as a lifeless Kokoro opened the door.

"Kororo-chan, Are you okay?"

"Onee-chan went on a trip." the girl simply replied.

"What are you talking about?" Makoto asked, confused. "I just saw her in the window."

"Onee-chan went on a trip. She said she's never coming back."

"Never coming back?"

The message suddenly clicked in Makoto's head and he rushed into the house and up the stairs.

Door by door he checked each room.

"Empty.

Empty.

Bathroom.

Empty.

Closet.

Closet..."

Finally, Makoto opened the door to find his girlfriend hanging by the neck from a ceiling fan.

"Kotonoha!" Makoto rushed down to the kitchen and procured a large meat saw. He ascended the stairs as fast as he could and began to tear away at the noose constricting her, standing on the chair that she used to get that high. The rope snapped and the two fell to the ground due to her limp body falling on his.

Makoto quickly pulled himself together and checked her pulse...

"...Nothing. Shit!"

Makoto immediately started administering chest compressions the way Kotonoha had taught him.

"Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty."

Makoto then held her nose and delivered two rescue breaths. Her lips were cold. He checked to see if she was breathing.

No good.

Makoto's chest compressions became more violent. "Come on, damnit!"

_"I have to become a good girlfriend for you."_

"Fight! Kotonoha... Fight!"

_"To cook for you, to support you."_

"I love you so much!"

_"I need to practice much harder."_

"No! Come on!"

Two more breaths.

Nothing.

_"I have to keep my chest up so I can be by your side."_

"One, two, three-"

_"I'll become a girlfriend that you won't be ashamed of."_

"No, Kotonoha. You can't die!"

_"For you, Makoto-kun,"_

"Damnit, Wake up!"

_"I want to be useful to you."_

"Wake up and we'll go on plenty of dates. We'll get married. We'll raise the kids, and even make a few of our own." Makoto's tears peppered Kotonoha's face as he pushed and pushed.

_"It's because I want to be with you."_

Two breaths.

Nothing.

"Shit!"

_"I beleive in you."_

"God please,"

_"Because, I'm your girlfriend."_

"If you exist, spare her.

It's all my fault.

Save her."

_"I love you."_

"PLEASE!"

Two breaths.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Nothing.


	9. In Wonderland

**Dream**

**-noun**

**1. a** **succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep. **

**2. an aspiration; goal; aim.**

**read.**

Kotonoha woke up submerged in a strange depression. She didn't know why she was so sad, but her cheeks were wet with tears.

What had she been doing that night? What did she dream about that was so upsetting?

Kotonoha decided to forget about it once she smelled the delicious scent of grilled salmon form downstairs. Kotonoha was quick to exit her room and race down the stairs to find the source of the scent.

Who was cooking breakfast?

Surely it wasn't Kokoro. Perhaps it was Mako-

Who?

Kotonoha stopped and tried to remember. She didn't recall knowing anyone named Mako.

There was an idol named Mako-chan, but why would Kotonoha be thinking about her?

Kotonoha dismissed the thought as she approached a taller woman with short black hair and breasts twice the size of her own. She was wearing an apron and placing the freshly-made breakfast at four places on the kitchen table.

"Good morning, Kotonoha." Mother said, smiling at her. "Don't you think you should be getting dressed? You can't go to school in-"

Kotonoha ran up to Mother and hugged her as hard as she could. She wasn't sure why, but it had felt like an eternity since she'd last seen her. "Mother, I…"

"Kotonoha, what has gotten into you?" She asked, surprised, but happy.

"I don't know…" Kotonoha replied softly, tears escaping her eyes. "…I guess I just had a bad dream… where's father?"

"He should be in the shower right now." Mother thought aloud after a second or two. "In your dream… did something happen to me and your father?"

Kotonoha tried to remember…

Nothing.

"I- I don't know…" She said after a while. "I don't remember."

Mother wrapped her arms around her daughter, lightly caressing her violet head. "Shh… I'm fine. Everyone's fine. We're all okay. Okay?"

Kotonoha nodded happily. "I'm going to go get ready for school."

"That's a good idea." Mother laughed.

Kotonoha gave Father a hug and a kiss on the cheek as she passed him on the stairs.

"What was that all about?" Father asked, smiling.

"I'm just happy to see you." Kotonoha grinned.

She practically tackled Kokoro upon sight, eager to express her new appreciation for her family.

Needless to say, breakfast was very lively. By the time she left, her beloved family almost seemed happy to see her leave. Kotonoha didn't mind that though. She realized she was being kind of annoying, but she didn't care. It was odd, but Kotonoha just felt so happy to be alive and to see the people she loved most.

Smiling, she boarded the train that would take her to school. Kotonoha didn't believe there was anything that could destroy her good mood.

"Good Morning!" Kotonoha said happily.

Kotonoha blushed when she realized how many people were staring at her. She was facing a wall. The other passengers started to whisper.

Kotonoha sat down quietly at the back.

Why did she just say that?

It was almost as if someone…

She shook her head violently. That couldn't be the case.

For the rest of the train ride Kotonoha's ecstasy was replaced with a strange foreboding feeling; almost as if she was forgetting something important.

Dismissing it, Kotonoha exited the train and walked down the street, eager to enjoy another day at Sakakino Academy.

Kotonoha started to walk into her classroom when she was suddenly pulled aside by Mori.

"Geez, Koto-chan. What do you think you're doing?"

"Um… I'm sorry, Mori-san, I was just… uh.. going to class."

Kotonoha felt nervous talking to Mori. She was speaking so informally.

What was she trying to do?

There was a long silence between the two of them. She stared into Mori's eyes with confusion and fear.

Out of nowhere, the brown-haired girl began to laugh.

"What the hell is that?" she giggled. "For someone as smart as you, you sure are an airhead sometimes. That's a second year classroom."

"Huh?" Kotonoha simply answered.

"Hello, we're still first years, remember? Freshmen?"

"Oh yeah, Kotonoha replied, embarrassed.

"And what's with all that formal crap? We're friends, aren't we?"

Kotonoha thought back. Kumi was right. She, Minami, Natsumi, and Otome were all Kotonoha's friends. Kotonoha was the newest addition to their group.

"Back from Mars yet?" Kumi asked, seeing Kotonoha still spaced out.

"Oh, yeah, sorry Kumi." Kotonoha replied. "Let's go."

Kotonoha felt at home in English class. She was one of the best English speakers in her class thanks to the English tutor she saw twice a week.

"Katsura, would you read the next passage?" asked the old woman, strands of grey hair escaping her tight bun as she moved around.

"Ah, yes." Kotonoha replied. **"Silently we stood, wind hitting our faces. We didn't know what to think, they didn't know what to expect."**

"Thank you, Katsura. Well-done as usual. Obuchi, the next one, please."

Classes dragged on at a snail's pace. Every once in a while, Kotonoha would get a text from Minami or Natsumi. These messages proved to make the tedium of schoolwork all the more tolerable. Kotonoha was thankful to have friends she can chat with during class. It was odd that she felt so appreciative of her commonplace life. However, Kotonoha decided to put that thought aside. After all, it wasn't a bad thing to feel this way. It was great. For the first time in ages, Kotonoha found herself happy to be alive.

"Helooo! Earth to Kotonoha." Minami said, waving her hand in front of Kotonoha's face.

"Huh?" Kotonoha found herself surrounded by her group of friends, all donning very annoyed expressions. "Oh, is it lunch time already?"

"Duh." Natsumi replied.

"What's with all the spacing out?" Kumi asked. "You've been like that all day."

"I bet you're just worried about the big game tomorrow. Right, Kotonoha?" Otome suggested.

"Game?" Kotonoha tried desperately to figure out what Otome meant, but nothing came to mind.

"Duh, Basketball."

"Oh yeah, that's right I am on the Girl's Basketball Team." Kotonoha lit up as she remembered how fun it is to play.

"Geez," Otome sighed. "Our team's ace is _this_ scatterbrain. I swear, Kotonoha. If I didn't love you so much I'd hate your guts."

"Eh? Sounds like someone's playing for the other team!" Kumi laughed.

"As if!" Otome defened.

Amidst the group's laughter the bell rang again, signaling the resumption of class.

"Ah great, now we missed lunch!" Minami pouted.

"That's right," Natsumi added. "You'll have to make it up to us."

Kotonoha put on a wide grin. She knew she had to treat them to something later. It was kind of an unspoken rule in their group that missing lunch meant whoever's fault it was had to pay when they went out.

"I'm just glad it's not me this time." Kumi sighed, looking with disdain at her empty wallet.

"Alright, alright." Kotonoha agreed. "How about karaoke after school then?"

"Sounds good." Otome replied, speaking for the rest of the group.

For the rest of the day, the time just flew by. Kotonoha had a few more classes, school ended, and pretty soon she was singing with her friends. Kotonoha had just finished singing God Knows by Aya Hirano. Relaxing, she sat down and took a sip of her soda.

"Wow, you're incredible, Koto-chan." Kumi praised.

"Well, I don't know about that…" Kotonoha began to blush.

"No, really." added Natsumi, picking up the mic. "You could totally be an idol."

"Like Mako-Mako-Chan?"

"Oh, I love her, sing one by her."

Kotonoha never thought much about her singing voice, but she supposed it was pretty good.

Time once again flew by and pretty soon Kotonoha found herself on the train ride home. It didn't take too long. Pretty soon Kotonoha was at home just in time for dinner.

Spaghetti, her favorite.

Between bites, Kotonoha told her eager family about her day. Father scolded her lightly about treating the other four girls to Karaoke, but Mother didn't seem to mind much, considering their affluence.

After dinner, Kotonoha took a bath and then spoke to Kumi on the phone for about two hours before going to bed. Resting her head on her pillow, Kotonoha reflected on what a great day it had been. It was wonderful. Yet at the same time, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was missing something.

"Oh well, it's probably nothing important."

…

That night Kotonoha dreamt of a life she'd never lived, of a boy she didn't know.

He was her boyfriend. That much she was sure of.

The whole dream was a bit hazy so she never got a good look at his face, but he was there all the same.

The dream itself was odd. She was holding a hand-knit sweater. The boy was lying unconscious next to a burning building. She went to help him and the sweater caught fire. Next she saw herself getting yelled at by her parents.

"_For God's sake, Kotonoha, you spent a fortune. What exactly did you buy?"_

"_Manga." Kotonoha simply replied._

Suddenly, Kotonoha found herself in a hospital. Her boyfriend was lying in one of the beds. She was peeling an apple for him.

"_Y'know," Kotonoha said, in a way that seemed to betray her character. "We weren't able to see each other on your birthday. I doubt you were able to properly celebrate with Saionji. Maybe we should go do something together. After all, I still need to give you your present."_

_The boy began to laugh. "We missed yours too didn't we? I'll be sure to get you something when I get out of here."_

Why did they miss each other's birthdays? Who was Saionji?

Next they were a the Fireworks Festival. The two looked on at the beautiful explosions. Kotonoha then whispered something in his ear. Hand in hand, the trekked deep into the forest.

In a clearing, surrounded by trees and shrubbery, Kotonoha leaned her body against a tree, sticking her behind out and eagerly grinning at the boy as he approached.

They were making love… outside! Why were they doing that in public? What if someone else went into the woods? Were they insane?

After one more change of scenery, Kotonoha found herself in her bed with her lover. Their nude bodies held onto one another as they slept. In an almost inaudible fashion, the girl before her spoke. In a quiet sleeptalk she muttered,

"_I love you, Makoto-kun."_

Kotonoha pantingly shot out of bed. She was dripping with sweat.

"What _was_ that?"

Kotonoha tried, but she could no longer remember the dream she had. Despite that, it left her with an ominous feeling of importance. She flipped her cell phone open. 3:00 AM. There were still a few hours before Kotonoha had to wake up, but it was impossible for her to get back to sleep.

When it was finally time to get ready for school Kotonoha felt exhausted. She had just spent the last three hours or so staring at the ceiling, desperately trying to keep her eyes closed. Groggily, Kotonoha brushed her teeth and hair and got dressed. Walking down the stairs, she joined her family at the breakfast table. Mother cooked a Western breakfast that morning. However, despite the delicious smell of bacon, Kotonoha upheld her lackluster demeanor.

"Onee-chan, are you okay?" Kokoro asked with a mouth full of scrambled eggs.

"Kokoro, don't talk with your mouth full." Father scolded.

"Yes, Father." the little girl pouted.

"Trouble sleeping?" Father asked.

"Yes, a little." Kotonoha replied.

"It was another nightmare, wasn't it?" Mother added, voicing her concern.

"No, no. Nothing like that. I just couldn't sleep, that's all."

"Well I sincerely hope you get a good night's sleep tonight. It's important for kids your age."

"Thank you, Father."

It wasn't as if she could tell them about her dream.

There was nothing to tell.

She couldn't remember anything.

Boarding the train, Kotonoha sighed; plopping down on the nearest seat and opening a translated copy of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit. If there was one thing Kotonoha liked, it was a good book. Her favorite genres being romance and fantasy.

As she begun to read, Kotonoha had a sudden feeling that she was being watched.

It wasn't necessarily a bad feeling. It was warm, calming, and safe. Rather than the creepy feeling one gets under the gaze of sketchy, older men, this was a protective stare. Someone who Kotonoha could barely see out of the corner of her eye was standing vigilant, ready to stop any suspicious characters or would-be molesters.

With her eyes still glued to the book, she could only make out a blurry figure. Black hair, black suit, red tie. From his height he was probably around her age, which meant that the black suit was probably a uniform from her school. Smiling, Kotonoha looked up toward the boy's direction, hoping to get a better look at her guardian.

No one was there.

It was strange. Kotonoha thought for sure that she saw someone. Her intuitions were rarely wrong.

And that feeling…

That feeling of safety and security. It felt so familiar.

"_Kotonoha, I love you."_

"Kotonoha? Kotonoha!"

"Wh-what?" Kotonoha's face jumped from her bentou. It was covered in rice and there was a small sausage stuck to her left cheek.

Otome, Natsumi, and Kumi were all staring at her from across the lunch table.

Minami was on her left, peeling the sausage off.

Kotonoha quickly grabbed a napkin and wiped the rice off of her extremely red face.

"Come on, Koto-chan. Are my stories about my boyfriend really _that _boring?" Kumi asked, clearly annoyed.

"No, of course not," Kotonoha defended. "I've just had kind of a rough night."

"Still stressing about that basketball game?" Natsumi asked.

"I wouldn't be surprised." Otome added. "I hear North High's gone undefeated. But you don't need to worry about that, Kotonoha. With the great Demon Katsura on our team, we just can't lose."

"Ah, no. It- it's not about the game." Kotonoha admitted nervously. "I've… been having these dreams…"

"Dreams?" Kumi asked, intrigued.

"Yeah… and I always seem to wake up either crying or yelling." Thinking about it, Kotonoha slowly began to piece things together. "I can't remember what they're about… but I think they have something to do with… a boy." Kotonoha's face turned even redder.

"Eh? A boy?" Minami asked. "Is he in our class?"

"I don't think so, but I do get the feeling he's someone I've met."

"Is he cute?" Kumi asked.

"I don't remember."

"What does he look like?" asked Natsumi.

"If she knew that, she'd know whether or not he's cute." Kumi pointed out.

"Umm…" Kotonoha started. "Black hair… I remember he had black hair… and he was wearing our school uniform."

"Well _that _narrows it down." Otome laughed.

"We do live in Japan, after all." Minami added. "Anything else."

"Well… there's only really one other thing I can think of. He had a wide, happy-go-lucky grin on his face."

"What's his name?" Kumi asked, teeming with anticipation.

"I-I think it begins with To-. No wait, that's not right. Ma-. It begins with Ma-."

"Was it Matsushita? "Minami suggested.

"No," Kotonoha replied. "I'm pretty sure it was his first name that began with Ma-"

Otome sadly looked downward; her glum disposition immediately noticed by her surrounding friends.

"Is everything okay, Otome?" Kotonoha asked, her voice thick with concern.

"I'm fine it's just… the guy you're describing… he kinda sounds like… no that's impossible."

"What's impossible?" asked Natsumi.

"What am I saying, that could be anybody. Besides, there's no way she could be dreaming about him."

"Who?" Kumi was at the edge of her seat now.

Otome let out a heavy sigh.

"Well I guess it's alright to tell you guys." Otome finally admitted. "You four are my best friends, after all."

"That's right," Kotonoha agreed. "If there's something bothering you, you can tell us. We'll do anything we can to help."

Otomo nodded her head and began digging through her backpack. Eventually, she pulled out an old Harami Junior High year book.

Kotonoha looked on as she flipped though the pages until she found the one she was looking for.

Tracing the rows with her fingers, Otome stopped at a picture of a black-haired boy.

It was the same one from Kotonoha's dream. She was sure of it.

After an eternity of silence, Otome finally spoke. "This is Makoto Itou. He was the first boy I ever loved."

"That's him." Kotonoha replied. "That's the boy from my dreams." Kotonoha could barely contain her excitement. She was finally getting some much-deserved answers.

"No… you couldn't possibly… _know_ him." Otome sobbingly replied.

"Why's that?" Minami asked. "Is it because he goes to a different high school?"

"No…

It's because last summer…

Makoto Itou died…"


	10. Revelations

**Home is where the Heart is.**

**read.**

Kotonoha marveled at the large field of headstones, unsure of where to start.

* * *

"_Well, you see…" Otome whispered slowly in the vast, empty room. The girls had decided it was best to move back to the classroom for a more intimate telling of the somber tale. After all, this wasn't something Otome wanted just anyone to hear. Huddled around their pony-tailed companion, the girls listened as she recalled the events that lead to the boy's untimely death. _

"_Makoto and I had been friends since seventh grade. Well actually, I guess you could say he was more my sister's friend than mine, even though I technically met him first. He and I didn't see eye to eye on a few things and bickered a lot over stupid stuff. Looking back on it, maybe I disagreed with him so much to get his attention… I dunno. Anyway, we hung out a lot during the summer. amusement parks, the beach, the arcade, stuff like that. I especially enjoyed competing with him. Anything from video games to who could build the bigger sand castle. I won most of the time." Otome giggled slightly "It's funny. He always used to get so mad." _

_The girls looked on, listening attentively. _

"_When eighth grade started, we began to drift apart. Sure, we still said 'Hi' when we saw each other, but I was getting more into basketball and he was part of the 'Go Home Club' so we didn't get many chances to walk to the station together either. He started hanging out with more guy friends and I started hanging out with more girl friends. It was like we were in two different worlds. We didn't really see each other much that summer. Even when we did, there wasn't much to talk about. It made me really sad. Karen suggested we start eating lunch with him. It was a little awkward at first, but after a while, we were laughing, joking, and making an Olympic competition out of anything we could think of. Ever chug a whole bottle of soy sauce?" _

"_Soy sauce?" Kotonoha asked._

"_Eww." Kumi added._

"_Anyway, the three of us had started spending a lot more time together, and as time went on I guess I began to realize I had feelings for him. I mean, he was always so funny, and caring and sweet. Not to mention cute." Otome blushed. _

_Kotonoha could feel herself blushing as well. Why was she suddenly feeling so excited? _

_Why was her heart beating so fast now?_

"_Um, go on…" All Kotonoha knew was that she had to hear more._

"_Okay, so on the first day of ninth grade, after the opening ceremony I made my move. I admit I was really nervous, but then, who wouldn't be? I was confessing to one of my closest friends. I can't even imagine how things would have been had he rejected me. Even so, it was a new year. I figured it was my chance to become a more bold me. So, I pulled him aside, making sure we were alone, and told him how I felt..."_

"_Well, what'd he say?" Natsumi asked impatiently._

"_Yeah." Kumi added._

"_Shh. Let her talk. She wouldn't leave that out."_

"_Thanks, Kotonoha." Otome replied. "Anyway, yeah. I asked him out and much to my surprise, he actually said yes! After that, we started going out. Things seemed relatively the same at first, but as time went on, we became closer… in more ways than one." Otome's face turned a bright crimson._

"_You two did C already?" Minami asked, astonished._

_Otome nodded silently._

"_Wow," Kotonoha acknowledged in fake astonishment. "You're way ahead of any of us." _

_That fucking slut! Who the hell did she think she was?_

_Wait, what? _

_Why would Kotonoha think something so awful?_

"_D-don't think I'm a slut or anything!" Otome looked downward. "We were in love. It's perfectly natural for us to want to…" _

"_Of course." Kotonoha gritted her teeth, trying to regain control. "Why don't you continue with your story?"_

"_Right. Let's see, where was I… ah right. So we started going out and things were great. We went out on a lot of dates and always had a real great time. Especially over the summer. Until, of course… that day. We were just going to the shopping district. No big deal." The pain became more apparent in Otome's voice with every passing word. "We were crossing the street. I accidentally dropped my purse. I just had to go back and get it. There was a truck coming my way, with some inattentive asshole driving." Tears began to fall from Otome's eyes. "I pick the purse up, and next thing I know, he knocks me to the ground and there's blood everywhere." The four girls got closer to Otome, eager to show their support. _

_How awful._

"_He's buried at Sakurami Memorial Gardens. I still visit him from time to time. So you see, unless you knew him back then, there's no way you could have met Makoto." Otome wiped her tears, regaining her composure. _

"_It's okay, Otome." Kotonoha said, putting her hand on Otome's shoulder. "You don't have to say anymore. I guess I was mistaken."_

_The next few moments were silent save for the occasional generic lines of support. No one quite knew what to say after such a depressing tale. It was sad. Kotonoha didn't doubt that. Yet the thoughts at the forefront of her mind were much more selfish than they were pitying. _

_There was no mistaking it. That had to be him. Was Katou lying? Was she seeing a ghost?_

_Katou? No. Otome. Why would she be calling Otome by her family name? There had to be a reason for all of these strange occurrences. The strange thoughts, the bouts of memory loss, constantly seeing that boy's smiling face in small glimpses that began to linger more and more as time went on. _

_Makoto Itou. There was something about him. _

_Something familiar._

"Hey, Kotonoha,"Otome called from across the hall. "Hurry up! We can't cream North High without our star player!"

"Ah, coming!" Kotonoha answered as the duo hurried to the locker room. There weren't many girls in there. Most of them were probably already dressed. The only ones who remained were Kanroji, Ashikaga, and a manly-looking girl she didn't know by name.

"Honestly Nanami, I don't know what you see in that guy." Ashikaga told Kanroji as she pulled up her yellow shorts. "Dude's a total Otaku. Probably spends all his time playing video games and watching anime porn."

"N-no, not… all his time." Kanroji blushed.

"I bet he makes you cosplay when you do it." Ashikaga giggled, grabbing Kanroji's breasts from behind and massaging them a bit; her fingers lightly digging in to Kanroji's soft skin.

"Chie! Knock it off!" Kanroji yelled before poutingly putting on her jersey.

As the two girls finally left the room, Kotonoha carefully folded her uniform.

"Ready to go?" Otome asked eagerly.

Kotonoha wanted badly to say yes, but something at the pit of her stomach told her it was a bad idea. It was a burning sensation. One not of physical pain, but of longing. It situated itself in her chest and threatened to burst her beating heart straight through her chest.

"Um…"

The air became thick with humidity. Her body filled with a jolt of electrifying energy. Only one thought crossed her mind.

She had to leave.

"I'll just be a minute, you go on ahead."

"Okay," Otome complied. "But don't take too long okay? Coach will have a fit!"

As soon as she saw the door close, Kotonoha made a break for the one they had entered through. Not even bothering to change out of her basketball uniform, Kotonoha raced down the hall, down the stairs and out of the building. She didn't know where she was going, but she couldn't stay there. It was as if something was calling to her. Kotonoha hadn't run so much in a long time. Amazingly, fatigue wasn't setting in. There was no pain in her chest, only desire to continue moving forward.

But why was she surprised? As a member of the Girl's Basketball Team, she was no stranger to running. Yet all the same, it felt like the first time in ages that she ever truly got to push herself. Kotonoha passed the train station, not caring about a quicker route. She was just having fun moving around. Not to mention quickly. Kotonoha's breathing became faster as she picked up speed; ignoring the stores and passerby along the way. Only once did she actually stop. It was in front of an arcade. Kotonoha didn't know why she found the place so interesting. She had never been a big fan of video games. Still, it was a nice place to catch her breath. A bottle of water from the vending machine and she was on her way. Kotonoha guzzled down the frigid bottle as her run began anew. Fading into a light jog, she decided to take in the passing scenery. Kotonoha was looking at such beautiful grassy fields. The hills all the more breathtaking when touched gently by the orange-pink light of a setting sun. Kotonoha slowed down even more when she saw a small stone fence that met with a large stone arc to form an entrance with an open black metal gate.

A plaque on one side of the arc read: Sakurami Memorial Gardens and beyond the entrance lied an even larger field than the previous one. This field was peppered with the grey of headstones and the shine of small shimmering plaques for those who could not afford proper headstones. Had it not been for the present sun, they'd have gone unnoticed to Kotonoha's gaze as she looked along the vast expanse.

"I see…" Kotonoha whispered to herself. It was obvious why she felt the sudden urge to come here. For whatever reason, Makoto Itou was calling out to her. Was he at the center of these strange happenings? Or did he wish to shed light on her mystery? Either way, Kotonoha knew that it was imperative that she see his grave right away. She decided to start by searching the aisles horizontally, but met with little luck. The place was huge. It felt nearly impossible to find just one boy. Not to mention that she had no idea what kind of marker to look for when searching for his grave. Was his headstone fancy or simple? Was it a headstone at all? Plaques were especially hard to find, and the darkening sky certainly was not helping.

"Maybe if I.." Kotonoha stopped and closed her eyes for a moment. If her gut could lead her this far, perhaps it could lead her a bit further. The thought occurred to move forward. She wasn't sure whether or not she was forcing it, but Kotonoha thought it would be best just to decide her directions on a whim. Slowly, she turned, passing grave after grave; reading the engravings along the way.

No luck so far, but she had to keep moving. Out of the corner of her eye, Kotonoha saw a short, black-haired woman dressed in pink scrubs. The woman began to walk in her direction only to stop and pull out a small metal flask. She sipped from it as she continued on.

"Excuse me, ma'am!" Kotonoha pleaded to get the woman's attention. Fatigue ran rampant on the strange woman's grief-stricken face. However, the frightful visage cracked a slight smile when she saw Kotonoha.

"A little under-dressed aren't ya?" The lady laughed, giving the yellow-clad girl a once-over. "But then, I guess I'm not one to talk." She gestured to her own odd clothing and grinned in a way that Kotonoha remembered Makoto-kun doing in the picture. "So what can I do for you, Basketball girl?" The woman asked in a slightly slurred voice."

Kotonoha was taken aback by the strange woman. She didn't seem quite drunk, but was definitely more than buzzed. "Umm… you wouldn't perhaps know where a Makoto Itou is buried, would you?"

The woman looked away, smiling to herself. "I swear, Makoto. Even now, you're as popular as ever." The woman turned back to Kotonoha. "Are you another one of his little girlfriends?"

"Something like that. I take it, you knew him." Kotonoha surmised.

"Knew him?" She laughed. "Probably a safe bet., considering that I gave birth to him."

The conversation was a bit awkward. It seemed like her day had been full of awkward conversations. Mrs. Itou was laughing a lot and drinking even more. The strong scent of alcohol cascaded from the woman's small frame, forming a dark aura of booze-drowned woe. Kotonoha walked a few steps behind Mrs. Itou as she made her way to the boy's grave. Walking down one more aisle, the woman stopped at a particular plaque on the ground. It wasn't anything fancy. Just a simple stone plaque among the more impressive headstones. There were flowers of different colors and varieties adorning the small space; mostly fresh-looking, a few wilted.

"Hi, Makoto." The woman spoke, smiling weakly. "I know you're probably sick of seeing me today, but I brought a guest." She gestured over to Kotonoha. "I'm sure you want some time alone with him. Just try not to take too long. The cemetery closes around this time." With that, the woman uttered a short prayer and took her leave. Leaving Kotonoha and Makoto Itou, son and brother, to chat. Kotonoha knelt down and closed her eyes, clasping her hands together in prayer. She didn't know what to say. She just knew she needed answers. Opening her eyes, she stared down at the engraved stone.

Nothing.

Not a feeling. No images. No sudden memories or familiar thoughts. It was just a grave. Just a cold plaque with an even colder corpse six feet underneath.

"This can't be it!" she cried. "It doesn't make sense! Why are you so quiet? What have you been wasting all this time calling me for?" Kotonoha felt herself shake with frustration. She couldn't take it anymore. Was all this nothing more than a joke? Was this spirit just trying to mess with her? Or was it all in her head? It must have been. Thinking about it, she could have just been remembering his face from off the street. They lived in the same town. She could have seen him at some point before his death. Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her. Too many fantasy books. Something like this happened in Silmaril if she recalled correctly. Yeah, that was it. Johnny kept thinking he was in some fantasy world when really he was just an ordinary boy. Of course, it all adds up. She was bored with her mundane life. A world where everything was going so right or her. There was no mystery to solve or thing to strive toward so she gave herself one.

Kotonoha shook her head and smiled. "I've been so silly. Kumi's gonna laugh her butt off when she hears about this." Kotonoha turned around to head home. The sky was dark; the only illumination hanging from the streetlights. Kotonoha held her head in shame, realizing she had just blown off one of the biggest games of the year to go off hunting her ridiculous fantasies. She would have to find a way to really make it up to the team, especially to Otome. The game was all she had talked about for the past week. Not to mention stirring up bad memories of her dead boyfriend. This wasn't exactly something that Karaoke could fix.

Kotonoha finally reached the exit only to come to a shocking realization.

The gate was closed.

Kotonoha spent too much time over at the grave and now she was locked in. What was she supposed to do now? The beautiful, peaceful sanctuary she had visited at sunset had since been transformed into a dark and dreary place. Spider webs glistened in the dim light. A cold wind blew through the air; it's sound echoing in a way almost reminiscent of a voice. Kotonoha held onto the cold iron bars for dear life as she felt a tingle in her spine. She jumped only to find nothing behind her. Heart racing, Kotonoha saw a distant, ominous figure in the distance. It was surrounded by darkness. No, it _was_ darkness, and the creature seemed to draw closer.

"C-calm down, Kotonoha." she aid to herself nervously. "It's just your imagination again. Nothing to be scared of. It's not real."

The wind began to howl again. The echoing sounds almost beginning to sound human.

"_Shhh….." _the voice echoed.

Kotonoha shook, unsure of what to do. Perhaps the spirits were angry with her for doubting them?

"_Pleeaa…" _the voice whispered again.

Kotonoha fell to her knees, shutting her eyes tight. She just wanted whatever it was to go away.

"_Koto… Kotonoha… no… please…"_

Kotonoha blinked. The voice didn't sound angry with her at all. It sounded sad, grief-stricken. Maybe it just wanted to talk.

"Um… hello? Mr. ghost?" Kotonoha said wearliy; standing up and brushing herself off.

"_One… two…"_

The voice became more faint. Kotonoha began to follow it; trying her best to make out the words it said.

"_Come… on…"_

At last, the voice stopped altogether, but Kotonoha was pretty sure of where it was leading her. At last, she made it to Makoto Itou's grave. She couldn't see the letters on the plaque, but it wasn't hard to make out the gorgeous floral arrangement surrounding it. Kotonoha stood for a moment, wondering what to do.

"Hello?"

Still no answer. She probably needed to be kneeling in prayer as she was before. Slowly Kotonoha knelt down, closed her eyes, and clasped her hands once more. "Please, tell me what you want."

"Okay." replied a much clearer voice behind her.

Kotonoha jumped, turning around to find a boy sitting indian style while floating in mid-air. He was dressed in casual clothes. Green t-shirt, gray pants; though he wasn't wearing any shoes. He was surrounded by a blue glow. Kotonoha blinked at his slightly transparent face. "You're-"

"Makoto Itou? The ghost of Makoto Itou? Makoto Itou's spirit? Take your pick. Honestly I'm not even sure what I am. Is a person defined by body alone, or is it what's inside that truly makes us who we are? Most people would assume the latter, but think about this: although it's true that people say one's own experiences forms one's personality and therefore one's self, it can also be noted that at the moment that body in the ground left it's mother's womb, it became classified as Makoto Itou, or rather, when it's mother came up with the name. So you see, even without these life experiences, Makoto Itou was still an existing person." Makoto pointed at the ground below. "That is Makoto Itou... or perhaps not." Makoto grinned at Kotonoha's puzzled expression. This was the boy Otome fell in love with?

"No, not exactly. I'd like to think I've gained more clarity since being dead."

"Can you... read my thoughts?" Kotonoha asked, feeling a little creeped out again.

"or would it be, 'since being created?' Well, for the time being and for your sake, let's just assume I am Makoto. And no. I can't read your exact thoughts. However, your emotions are enough to convey them. Fear, confusion, skepticism… jealousy?" Makoto adjusted the white, triangular cloth adorning his forehead. "Maybe you wish you were a ghost too? I can see why. You get to fly around, walk through walls, and you get one of these sweet hitaikakushi." Makoto pulled it off of his forehead and flew over to Kotonoha, placing it on her own. "Not bad. I think you'd make a beautiful ghost."

Kotonoha wasn't quite sure what to feel. This Makoto was a confusing character to say the least. He was constantly going from deep and philosophical to vibrant and childlike at the drop of a hat. Still, what most bothered her was that she wasn't getting any kind of real answer. "Please, stop it." she said to him sternly, while still retaining an air of politeness.

"I see," the spirit replied. "You're right. It's time to get to the heart of the matter." Makoto took his headpiece back and landed to stand in front of her. "I'm sure you must have something to say to me after going to all the trouble to meet me here."

Kotonoha looked back on that day and the one before it. They weren't so much good days as they were confusing ones. She had come to a few conclusions on her own already, but knew that only the ghost could truly shed light on the day's events.

"Wh- why did you call me here?"

The glowing boy cupped his chin, as if unsure of the answer himself. He looked thoughtfully at the stars before giving his response. "I am unsure, myself." He whispered "I actually have no memory of ever deliberately contacting you."

That didn't make any sense. Surely he must have known something. "But- but you were in my dreams. I'd catch myself accidentally saying your name or writing it down on my notebook. I even saw you on the train this morning. I'm sure of it."

The boy's expression was one of shock. How could he be surprised by this? He was a ghost. Surely he had some experience with events like these. "Well, the train thing makes sense I guess. Sometimes, when I'm strong enough, I go to your school to check on Otome. The weird thing is, I didn't go this morning."

"Maybe you leave behind some sort of residual image."

"Doubtful. Although the idea that you could even see me in the first place seemed far-fetched until a few minutes ago." Makoto thought for a second. "You mind if I see the supposed 'contact' I made with you for myself?"

"See them?" Kotonoha looked downward. "I can't exactly force them. They just kind of happen."

"It's okay." Makoto replied. "I'll just look into your memory for them."

"I thought you said you couldn't do that." Kotonoha looked at him skeptically.

"Well… I can't. Not when I'm outside of the body anyway. I probably have to possess you."

"Possess me? I'm not sure if I want you taking control of my body."

"Relax." he coaxed. "You'll most likely walk out of this unscathed."

"Most likely?"

"Well, you have to understand. I've actually never done this before. Truthfully I don't even know if I can. Still, the ghosts on TV seem to be able to do it just fine."

"I don't know if we should be trying this." Kotonoha backed away slightly.

"It's okay." he said to her in a calm, charming voice. "I won't let anything happen to you." Kotonoha felt a slight chill in her fingers as his intangible left hand touched her own palpable right. Slowly, he pushed his forehead into hers in a manner somewhat familiar to her as his body began melting into hers. A flurry of sensations rushed the girl all at once. She was hot. She was cold. It tingled and itched. It was pleasurable and painful. Kotonoha doubled over, overwhelmed by the sudden torrent of stimulation. Her vision was getting blurry. The dim orange glow of the streetlights replaced by a bright white one. It took over her entire field of vision and soon she saw nothing but white. Kotonoha no longer felt herself kneeling in the grass. She was bodiless, floating in a vast void of white nothingness. It felt like an eternity, but slowly, things began to form together. Scenes began to fade in and fade out in front of her. Scenes of her and a very much alive Makoto Itou. They were hugging, kissing, going on dates. She saw them sleeping together, eating together. She also saw him with other girls. She saw him not only sleeping with Otome, but all of her other friends as well. She saw him hold a short-haired girl lovingly.

Bitch.

Kotonoha saw him asking her out for the first time. She saw their first date. They were at the arcade she had stopped at earlier. Kotonoha didn't look like she was having much fun. She saw herself with him at a movie, slapping him for trying to kiss her. She saw him holding her at Christmas time, tearfully apologizing.

"_What is all this?" _She asked herself, a true voice unable to escape her non-existent mouth.

Her own friends said hurtful things and knocked over her bentou.

"_It could be anything." _Makoto Itou replied with a similar disembodied voice. _"Were these what you saw?"_

The short-haired girl chatted with her on the sidelines at gym.

"_Some of them," _she answered. _"but most of these are new. Where do you think these things are coming from?"_

Makoto taught Kotonoha to swim.

"_Who knows. It could be another universe. One where you and I are together. Where I'm unfaithful. Or perhaps these are inventions of your subconscious. Maybe you're bored with your regular life and secretly yearn for a life filled with drama and excitement."_

The girl sneered with disgust at the bundle in Makoto's arms.

"_Are you saying that I wanted to be cheated on?" _She asked, slightly offended.

Kotonoha lovingly held what seemed to be the same infant she expressed her hatred for moments ago.

"_No. I'm merely suggesting that sometimes you might wish you lived in a world with more going on."_

Kotonoha thought about this as she continued to watch herself in this strange world. Apparently she had to quit kendo for medical reasons. That was a shame. In her own world, Kotonoha had already won many competitions with her skills. That Kotonoha would probably be surprised if she told her she'd ran all the way to a cemetery on the other side of town. Come to think of it, she was surprised about that herself. Suddenly things were all piecing together. The day she almost went into the second year room, forgetting she was friends with Otome and the others, or that she was on the Basketball team. It all added up.

"_Um, Itou?"_

"_Yeah?" he replied._

"_Do you think maybe these are… my memories?"_

"_Memories? What do you mean?"_

Kotonoha took a mental breath and uneasily answered. _"I was just thinking… maybe I came here.. from that world…"_

* * *

Kotonoha's vision went dark and she began to feel her own body again. For a moment, something began to push on her chest. The pressure was hard and painful. She opened her eyes to find the familiar white ceiling of her bedroom. She was nestled gently under the covers. The smell of breakfast shook her from her daze. Kotonoha sat up, smiling bitter sweetly.

"I see, so that's what happened…

Makoto-kun…"

* * *

**Do not own School Days or any other anime, books, movies, or products mentioned in this story... yet... **


	11. Where the Heart Is

**How much freedom does one have in a cage of one's own design?**

**read.**

Kotonoha opened her eyes to find the familiar white ceiling of her bedroom. Nestled gently under the covers, her mind got to work sorting a torrent of new information. Kotonoha sat up, smiling bitter sweetly.

_"Kotonoha, I don't love you. I know life is hard right now, but lying to you wouldn't be good for either of us."_

_"I see." Kotonoha whispered. "Then I'll just have to work hard until you do love me. You'll see. If you haven't fallen for me yet, I'll-"_

_"Kotonoha." Makoto-kun interrupted. "There's nothing you can do."_

_A thick, painful silence permeated the room._

_"N-nothing? No matter what I do, you'll never fall in love with me?"_

_"No."_

"I see, so that's what happened…

Makoto-kun…"

Nothing.

That was it. It was over. There wasn't a single thing Kotonoha could do to make Makoto-kun love her. He'd never care for her the way she did for him. He probably never did. Perhaps he really did only care about her body.

Tears began to fall from Kotonoha's face as she shakily got out of bed.

Why did he hate her?

What had she done that was so wrong?

She had tried so hard; bending over backwards both figuratively and physically for him.

She was ready to give him everything. After all, Kotonoha was the heiress to the great Katsura fortune. She and Makoto-kun could have lived well beyond their means.

How could he turn her down? How could he still refuse to love her?

Refuse?

Kotonoha thought about that word for a moment. It wasn't as if love was a choice. One doesn't choose who one falls in love with. It just happens.

Maybe it just didn't happen with him.

No. There had to be a more logical explanation. She was sure he had at least loved her at one point.

"Onee-chan!" Kokoro burst through the door, eagerly greeting her weeping sister. "Father says you need to hurry or you're gonna be-" Kokoro stopped herself when she realized Kotonoha was crying. "O-onee-chan? What's wrong?"

"It's- it's nothing." Kotonoha stammered, wiping her eyes and preparing to start her morning routine. After all, how could she explain all this to Kokoro? Not even she understood what was happening. Had she traveled back in time?

No, that wouldn't be it. Things were different here. The Makoto-kun of this world was- Kotonoha stopped herself. She didn't like thinking such things of her beloved. Although, it was a bit easier on her if only for the fact that she met with his spirit. Come to think of it, how could she meet with him? Ghosts aren't real.

Suddenly, Kotonoha's vision began to blur. She heard a low voice mumble in he distance.

"Kotonoha, are you alright?" Father asked with a raised eyebrow from across the breakfast table. A chill ran up Kotonoha's spine.

Kotonoha nodded her head and took one last sip of tea before rising from the table, averting her eyes from his.

"Are you finished already?" Mother asked, quizzically.

"Yes" the young girl replied. "I'll be late for the train otherwise." Kotonoha couldn't so much as look at her parents. Not after seeing them die like that. She knew she should have been happy, and before her memories came back, she was. However, at that moment, seeing their smiling faces only seemed to make her recall their lifeless eyes, blood-soaked skin, and the eerie smiles they brandished so carelessly. Kotonoha quickly scurried out the door, realizing how easy it would be to take advantage of her newfound physical abilities.

_Kotonoha woke up to feel Makoto-kun holding her hand with both of his. He was sitting at the side of her bed. "Kotonoha!" Makoto-kun exclaimed. His face lit up as soon as he saw her eyes open._

"_M-makoto-kun." she stammered back. "Where am I? Wh- what happened?"_

"_You're in the nurse's office." He replied. "Otome told me you collapsed at gym."_

_She collapsed? _

_But Kotonoha was sure the medicine was doing it's job. _

"_Are you getting enough sleep?" Makoto-kun asked._

_The violet haired girl looked away, wondering what to say._

"_Ah, yeah. I guess I was just a little tired."_

Kotonoha sprinted to the train's open doorway as fast as she could, bumping into a few people in her way. Unfortunately, she didn't have time to apologize.

The doors began to close. She had less than a second. Kotonoha leaped through the doorway, just barely making it. The young girl sat down, finding herself out of breath for the first time since…

Since she found herself in this strange world.

Where was she?

How did she get here?

Was this a dream? Or perhaps the afterlife?

Impossible. She would have to have died.

Could there maybe be another Kotonoha running around in her own universe? She had read a few books where that had happened. Given the circumstances, it wasn't unbelievable.

Still, even before the return of her memories, Kotonoha often felt a sense of hollowness in this world without Makoto-kun. Although, maybe this life was the best one for her. Nearly every memory she had of him was sexual in some way. Every once in a while memories would flash of her taking his member into her mouth or touching him on the train ride to school. The rooftop was practically their personal love hotel.

The things he forced her to do were disgusting and yet she kept asking for more, all to please him. Anything for Makoto-kun.

Why was his approval so important to her?

Why was it still important to her now?

Even the thoughts that demonized him felt like lies. She knew they were true, so why did she refuse so adamantly to see him in a negative light? The answer was obvious.

Love.

Kotonoha just couldn't stop loving Makoto-kun.

Regardless of what he did to her or what he made her do, those feelings just couldn't fade away like every other crush she'd had. In a way she was almost addicted to him. It was hard to focus on anything else.

"_I'll go take these to the sink." Kotonoha smiled falsely as she gathered the dirty dishes from the table. Kokoro didn't say anything. She just looked at her with those piercing eyes, picking her apart; judging her. Kotonoha quickly made her way out of the dining room before finally breaking down. Her knees, along with a host of shattering dinnerware, came crashing to the ground. Her hands shakily bringing themselves to her face as she audibly sobbed. _

_It wasn't fair._

_Life wasn't fair._

_Mother._

_Father._

_Makoto-kun._

_Kokoro._

_She had no one to help her through all of this. No one to support her. No one to love her._

_Kononoha heard a slight crunch and noticed a barefoot Kokoro watching her silently. She had stepped on some of the sharp debris and seemed to be bleeding. "Kokoro," Kotonoha said in as cheery a tone as her hoarse voice could permit. "You're hurt. Let me take a look at your foot." Kokoro didn't respond. She didn't so much as wince at the pain or even blink. Kokoro simply turned around and began to walk, not bothering to take any weight off of her injured foot. She paid no mind to her sister, her foot, or even the bloody trail she was leaving. Kotonoha stood up, doing her best to avoid the glassy shards, and walked over to Kokoro. Kotonoha wrapped her arms around Kokoro from behind, hoping to get some kind of response._

_Kokoro didn't even turn her head. She simply remained still as Kotonoha removed the shard and bandaged her foot. It wasn't until later that night that Kokoro actually spoke. _

_Kotonoha was almost asleep when she heard the bedroom door creak open. Kotonoha didn't bother to turn around. After all, the light wasn't on. It could have easily been some other door. _

_Then came the footsteps. Small little taps that got closer and closer._

_They must have just been her imagination._

"_It's all your fault." This got Kotonoha's attention. She whipped around to find Kokoro's small form beside her bed. Her little hands wrapped around Kotonoha's neck, squeezing with incredible force. Kotonoha labored to breathe as Kokoro's grip grew tighter and tighter. She wasn't wrong to do this. It was Kotonoha's fault they were dead. Kokoro was within her right to avenge Mother and Father. Kotonoha smiled warmly at Kokoro. Unable to speak, Kotonoha reached out and touched the young girl's cheek. It was wet. Kotonoha got to work wiping the tears from Kokoro's eyes while the last of her breath left her. Then, all at once, Kokoro's grip loosened. The little girl turned around and slowly left the room. Kotonoha began to shed a few tears of her own, not knowing how to help her distraught sibling._

Kotonoha slipped her school shoes on and carefully placed her outside shoes back in her cubby. The upside to repeating tenth grade was that she remembered the material pretty well. At least she wouldn't have to worry about her grades this time around.

"Kotonoha!" Obuchi called out to her. That's right. They were friends in this universe.

"Hi!" Kotonoha happily replied.

What was she doing?

This was one of the girls who relentlessly tortured her on a daily basis. She made Kotonoha's school life a living hell.

"How are you doing? Were your parents mad last night?"

All the harsh words, the ruined lunches.

"You're really lucky we were driving by. If my brother hadn't saw you behind the gate-" The malicious notes and drawings on her desk, the thumbtacks on her seat.

"-You should really thank him properly. He had to drive you all the way across town to get you home." The hurtful text messages, spraying her with water guns in February.

"How come you weren't at the game? Otome's pretty-"

"Shut up."

Kotonoha stared daggers at Obuchi before storming down the hall to their classroom. She knew Katou was angry with her, but she was even angrier. Over a year's worth of torment was too much to just let go, especially when, in this world, she was confident and strong enough to stand up for herself.

As soon as she walked through the door, Katou came rushing to her. Rage in both their hearts, this confrontation wouldn't end well.

"Kotonoha!" Katou yelled.

"Katou." Kotonoha spat back. They still had a good fifteen minutes before class started. That was more than enough time for her to tell Katou what she thought of her.

"You better have a damn good reason for why you missed yesterday's game." Katou growled.

"And why the hell should I care about some stupid basketball game?" Kotonoha smirked.

"How about, because you're a member of this team? Don't you even care that we lost?"

"Hmmm…" Kotonoha lifted her head in false thought. "Nope, not in the slightest."

"You knew how important this game was to me, to all of us. How could you let us down like that?"

"Let you down?" Kotonha laughed. "Let me ask you something, Katou. Don't you think I felt let down all those times you told me I was scum?"

"What are you-"

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe the lunches I tried so hard to make were important to me?"

"But you never make-"

"And how about all those times you threw mud on my uniform? Did you care then? No! You never cared. All you've ever done was push me around. You and your little squad of bitches." Students began to gather around them, eager to see the heated argument. "And why? For what? Because you're jealous of me? Is it because my chest is bigger? Do I remind you of your sister?"

"Shut up, Kotonoha."

"Or maybe it's because you just can't accept the fact that Makoto-kun chose me over you!"

Before Kotonoha knew it, she was on the floor. Her left cheek was red and swollen. Her mouth was visited by a warm, coppery taste of blood. Katou stood over her, holding her fist from the pain the crashing blow brought.

"How dare you talk about him that way? You knew how much that would hurt me." Katou turned her back to Kotonoha her words were practiaclly sobs. "As far as I'm concerned, we're no longer friends."

"We never were." Kotonoha replied, picking herself up. "I was tired of all your false kindness anyway."

Kotonoha pushed past Koizumi and a boy with black shoulder-length hair before leaving the classroom entirely. She couldn't deal with this. She felt nauseous at the pit of her stomach. Ignoring passing students and teachers, Kotonoha noticed one room in particular. It was the Kendo Club's storage room. Of course, in this world Kotonoha never had to quit Kendo. It was surprising that she wasn't part of the club. Still, Kotonoha shrugged the thought off and went inside. There was protective armor draped around in an unorganized fashion.

Sloppy.

She nearly tripped on one of the wooden swords they had so carelessly left scattered on the floor. It disgusted Kotonoha to see the bogu they wore and the boken they wielded treated with such disrespect. Kotonoha sighed, picking up the nearest sword and leaving the room. She continued on until she found the stairs leading to the roof of the school. At least there Kotonoha could clear her head.

Luckily for her, the door was open. The weather outside was a bit chilly, but not a big deal. Calmly, Kotonoha took her usual kendo stance. The violet-haired girl closed her eyes, waiting for the moment to begin. A gentle breeze began to blow her bangs back.

Now.

Kotonoha's eyes shot open as she made her first strike.

Swish

Swish

She sliced at the air in front of her, devastating her invisible opponent.

Parry

Block

It was his turn to attack now.

However, Kotonoha was not one to be on the defensive for long. In an instant she knocked his blade to the side and slashed at his non-existent throat.

Kotonoha felt herself start to sweat. She wiped her moist forehead.

Her cell phone read 8:45.

She thought she'd been out longer than that. Kotonoha shrugged, relieved of her stress and moved to the fence to get a nice view of campus. The sun was out and doing it's job of making things warm for the afternoon. There was a gym class out on the track. Ashikaga-kun was lagging behind the rest of them. She giggled to herself.

He never really seemed like the athletic type.

Although, in this universe, did she even know him?

This universe… What was it exactly?

Her life was going pretty well before she started searching for the truth. Perhaps she wished for-

Kotonoha's train of thought was interrupted by the sight of a black-haired girl entering school grounds.

No, brown.

Even at that distance, she recognized her instantly. A wide smirk crept across Kotonoha's face.

Kotonoha dashed down the steps and through the hallways, anxious to meet the girl before she made it inside. Kotonoha pushed her legs as hard as she could; breathing heavily as she descended stairway after stairway at speeds that would make track stars jealous. Finally, she made it to the front door. The girl would reach it at any second. Kotonoha gave herself a moment to catch her breath before opening the door to find the girl's face inches away from her own.

"Umm… hello." Saionji-san greeted in an uncharacteristically shy voice.

"Hi," Kotonoha replied. "I'm Kotonoha Katsura. You're Sekai Saionji, right?"

"Well, …yeah. How would you know that?"

This was almost too easy. "I've been noticing you around school and I think you'd be perfect to join our club." Kotonoha falsely grinned, gesturing to the boken in her hand.

"Uh, you see… the thing is…" Saionji stuttered

"It'll be fine," Kotonoha coaxed. "Just follow me."

Saionji-san sheepishly followed Kotonoha down the hallway, unaware of the fate that would befall her.

"Umm…" Saionji started to say. "What about class? I'm already late." the pair rounded a corner and began to ascend a flight of stairs.

"Don't worry about it." She lied confidently. "Our club has special permission to practice during school hours. Mr. Otanashi can write you a pass when we're done."

"B-but, I thought Mr. Miyagusugu was in charge of the Kendo Club."

Damn.

"Oh, well that's just the Boy's Kendo Club. Otanashi is in charge of the girls."

An akward silence befell the two of them. Kotonoha could tell by the look on Saionji's face that she knew something was amiss. The girl seemed lost in thought; as if she was trying to pick apart Kotonoha's story.

Finally, the two of them reached the door to the roof. Saionji stopped dead in her tracks as soon as she saw it. "Um, are you sure this is where the Girl's Kendo Club meets?"

"Of course I am, why?"

"B-because there… is no Girl's Kendo Club. I'm pretty sure the club is unisex."

"It's a recent change." Kotonoha quickly explained, grabbing Saionji's arm.

She was so weak.

"Hey, wait! Let go!" The bitch cried as Kotonoha dragged her out into the chill fall air.

Kotonoha was quick to lock the door before turning to Saionji who was shaking like a leaf. She was right to be scared. That bitch was going to pay for all the pain she put Kotonoha through. Katou may have been an awful human being, but Saionji didn't even deserve the title of human. She was not a girl, but a disgusting beast only serving to make everyone's lives more miserable.

"I-I knew it!" The creature whimpered in distress. "There was no way this could be for real. I've never no much as participated in gym class since I've been here. Wh-what do you want from me? Money? You can have it! All of it!" She cried, emptying her wallet as fast as she could.

"You think I want your money?" Kotonoha laughed, slapping the yen out of Saionji's hands. "You're pathetic. You worthless, wretched waste of space. Your very existence sickens me."

_Kotonoha._

Kotonoha laughed hysterically as she raised her wooden sword above her head and slammed it against Saionji's shoulder. Saionji held her shoulder tightly and made a break for the door, hastily trying to get it open. "That won't work." Kotonoha cackled madly. "It's locked from the inside." Kotonoha rushed Saionji at about half speed to give Saionji a chance to evade her. After all, it was far more fun to chase the beast than to corner her. Saionji ran as fast as she could, looking on in terror as Kotonoha pursued her. The creature's face twisted in pure fear as it circled the small area, never quite finding a moments rest. It slowed down for a moment, only for the wooden blade to slam into it's back this time. It did it's best to continue running, but began to slow once again. Kotonoha stood still this time, observing her prey. The beast clutched it's chest, gasping for air. It fell to it's knees and desperately tried to crawl away.

Loathsome creature.

Kotonoha closed in, standing over it once again, ready to administer vengeance on the lowly slug that dared to cross her.

_Kotonoha!_

Kotonoha rose her blade once again and struck. This one hit it's head. It's dark brown hair became matted, tinted a disgusting crimson. Next was it's back, causing the creature to fall from all fours and into a fetal position. "You pathetic piece of garbage." She continued. "What made you think you were ever worthy of him? Huh?" Kotonoha dealt blow after crushing blow to the quivering mass of bruised flesh under her. "Answer me!"

"I-I'm sh-showee." It managed to slur.

_KOTONOHA!_

"Sorry? You take away the one thing in the world that means the most to me and you're sorry?" Kotonoha's assault became harder and faster. Blood began to pool under it. "What's worse, you destroyed his innocence and perverted him so horribly that now he only see's me as a sex object! You made him incapable of love! You cast your vile spell of lust and corruption on him, turning him into your own personal sex slave. You can't imagine the things I had to do just to get him to look at me again!" Kotonoha slammed the bloody boken into it harder and harder, delighted at hearing the crack of broken bones. "I want him back!" Kotonoha shrieked. "Give my Makoto-kun back to me!" Kotonoha made one final strike to It's neck before falling to her knees, exhausted. Silently, she sobbed, wanting nothing more than to be in his arms again.

She could never give up wanting to be with him. This world had a Makoto-kun, but he wasn't the same, even if he was kinder. Even with all of his faults, her Makoto-kun was still the one she would ever want to be with. In this world, her parents were alive, she had friends, and she was good at nearly everything. And yet in the name of the boy she loved, she had destroyed it all. Saionji had long since stopped moving. She had resolved to stop thinking about him and yet after only a few hours her thoughts were solely on him again. He was a destructive force in her life. If Saionji-san was what corrupted Makoto-kun, Makoto-kun was what corrupted Kotonoha. Like a moth to the flame she felt drawn to him. Kotonoha smiled to herself.

This was her world now. A world she'd corrupted; a world where she would face a lifetime of imprisonment for murder. It was better this way. Kotonoha was a danger to herself and those around her. After all, Makoto-kun didn't love her. If she returned to her world, She'd probably just end up kidnapping him the way Saionji did. What if he started dating another girl? Could Kotonoha really just let something like that happen?

Never.

Just look at what she did to Saionji-san. She didn't even feel bad about it. Kotonoha was insane, a sociopath. It made sense that Makoto-kun would never love her. No one in their right mind would.

_Fight! Kotonoha, Fight!_

She must have been hearing things.

_Come on, damnit!_

It couldn't be.

_No! Come on!_

"Makoto-kun?"

_No, Kotonoha. You can't die!_

"Makoto-kun, I-"

_Don't leave me! Please!_

"Makoto-kun, Why would you-"

_I love you! I love you so much! I was an idiot. Too stupid to realize how much you meant to me._

"I'm only a burden to you." Kotonoha cried out. The scene around her blurred into darkness

_Mom says you're obsessed with me. And honestly, she's right. But I love that side of you._

"You couldn't possibly mean that."

_All I want is to be able to show you the same amount of attention and love that you always show me!_

Tears began to fall down Kotonoha's cheeks.

"_You once told me you wanted to be useful to me, well this time, let me be useful to you. I have to become a good boyfriend for you now. _

_To protect you, to support you. _

_I need to be there for you. _

_To stand up for you._

_I'll be a shoulder to cry on, and someone to laugh with._

_Let me make you lunch every once in a while._

_For you, Kotonoha… I'd do anything…_

_It's because I want to be with you._

_From now on, I'll believe in you._

_I'll take care of you._

_Because I'm you boyfriend, and…_

_I love you. _

_And I promise..._

_No matter what you do in the future, _

* * *

Nothing will ever change that."

Kotonoha slowly opened her eyes to find her beloved staring down at her; a smile on his tear-stained face.

There he was: the true honest to goodness Makoto-kun. The boy from the train. Her Makoto-kun.

"I- I love you too, Makoto-kun."

Nothing else mattered...

* * *

Hi everyone, Phillyphil10 here. Normally I don't do an afterword, but this is something pretty important to me and I feel it would be wrong not to say something. This is a message to those of you who are religious as well as those of you who believe in God in general. Recently my friend Andy's mother passed away. As we all know, this can be extremely devastating so I've been praying for him. Hopefully God will help him get through this. So if at all possible I'd like you all to do the same. It doesn't matter which religion you are (I even don't have a specific religion) just so long as you please ask whatever deity you worship to please help Andy in this troubling time. As for those of you who don't believe in God, just hoping he'll get through this would be nice. You don't even need to tell me personally that you thought about him or prayed about him either. Because at the end of the day, even just you reading this is bound to get you at least thinking about him a little bit. And barring the criminally insane, I doubt any of you will wish ill of him. You see, I'm someone who has always believed firmly in the strength of the human heart. The way I see it, if we all wish him well, good things will happen. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. Thank you all.


	12. Crossroads

**As we touch the lives of those around us, the weight of our choices grows greater. Their impact, harder to forget.**

**read.**

His tears stained her pale, now damp skin. She was ice cold. The wet purple hair that framed her face so perfectly now clung like vines to her lifeless brow. It was over. The person he had come to know as Kotonoha Katsura was no more. Her body a heavy, limp rag doll in his shaking hands. All the same he held her closely, as tight as his weary body could muster.

Makoto didn't know how much time had passed, but at this point he had little hope. His dry, aching throat begged for moisture. He wouldn't allow it. The boy stayed there, knelling on the floor with the doll in his arms, hoping to the gods that she would spring to life any moment. No chance. This was what he deserved. His punishment for all of the abuse and neglect he had put Kotonoha through. He had driven her to suicide for the second time. In her tortured existence, all she could do was to chase after the one tool she had to keep her sanity in tact. Love.

But love no longer endeavored to protect her. It would nevermore be there to cheer her on or to keep her moving forward. Love fled. Kotonoha followed.

Burying his reddened face in her matted hair, Makoto struggled desperately for comfort. To even be able to feel her, really feel her once more. One more embrace, just one more kiss. Nothing else mattered. He just wanted to see her again. He just needed to hold on tighter. No, not too tight. He'll break her that way. She's fragile. His fragile Kotonoha. Careful.

Makoto slightly jumped as he felt something warm tickle the nape of his neck. Makoto's heart leapt as he broke away to examine Kotonoha's mouth and chest. Her chest wasn't moving much, but from his cheek, Makoto could feel a small channel of air escape her dry lips every few seconds.

"K-Kotonoha?" He wasn't wrong! She was definitely breathing. They were shallow breaths, but his girlfriend was breathing. She was alive. He was sure of it.

Makoto began to whisper to her softly as he brushed her soaked bangs away from her eyes.

"That's it Kotonoha. Come back to me." His hand closed around hers in a gentle, protective embrace. His eyes were trained on her nearly still lids after noticing a slight flicker. Whatever he was doing, it was working.

* * *

Otome sank into the cold leather of the red loveseat as her sister waited for a response. Karen's light brown pigtails swayed this way and that as she paced about the room, glancing in her sister's direction every so often. Her eyes shot Otome messages of anger, fear, and concern. Her slender hand rose to cover her worried brow. Otome's stomach turned at the thought of Karen's inevitable response.

"Please, Onee-chan. Just tell me it's not true. You're not really bullying that Katsura girl. It's a mistake, right?"

Otome looked down at her knees. Pangs of guilt began to prick Otome's neck with the shame to come.

What was she supposed to say?

Karen could always tell when she was lying.

It was unavoidable. She had to tell her.

"I- I did…" Otome whispered

Otome could tell this set Karen off. The pigtailed girl tried to remain calm as she gazed into her sister's eyes. "When Itou-senpai told me, I didn't believe him. How could I? I thought to myself, 'Onee-chan would never do awful things like putting tacks in a girl's shoes or ruining her lunch.' I never even imagined you would be capable of things like that. Why the heck would you torture that poor innocent girl?"

This was getting to be too much. With each word she spoke, Karen was slowly drowning Otome in a sea of her own sin. She was suffocating, thrashing about for air. Otome desperately inched herself toward far-gone veneration, only to be dragged down further into the depths of her own guilt.

"Onee-chan, weren't you the one who defended Hinegawa when those girls tried to take her lunch money?"

A simple comparison was her anchor.

"That was-" Otome stuttered "That was 8th grade. People change." Otome gained a bit more base in her voice.

All at once, the deathly waters dissipated, leaving Otome neither responsibility nor fear.

Who was Karen to tell her how to live? She was always so high and mighty. Such a goddamn saint.

"Come on, don't give me that 'People Change' crap! Tell me the truth. What did this girl do to you? What makes you hate someone enough to treat them that way?"

There she went again. All of that 'Holier than Thou' garbage. How dare Karen talk down to her.

Who the hell did that bitch think she was?

Otome stood up.

"You wanna know the truth?" Otome spat, causing Karen to move backwards. "I despise people like Kotonoha Katsura! I hate everything about her. I hate her because she's prettier than me. I hate her because of those humongous breasts! I hate her because she's so prim, and proper, and polite. It sickens me the way she's got all the boy's eyes glued to her!" Otome became louder and louder, eager to express the raging fury bubbling within. "And the worst part is that she's so Goddamn humble about it! She's the kind of person whose just too friggin perfect to exist! Trying to compete with her is just pointless because she's such a goddess to everyone's eyes." Otome's eyes began to tear up.

"So what then, you're just going to resent anyone whose better than you?" Karen scoffed coldly.

How dare she?

Otome was pouring her heart out to her and she just brushed it off like it was nothing.

"Listen to me, Onee-chan." Karen began. "That is the most pathetic thing I've heard in my life! You shouldn't hate someone just because they're better than you at something. People like her are there as obstacles. They exist to make you a better person, just like you exist to do the same for them. Rivalries are what help us grow as human beings. I mean, just look at me-"

"Shut up!" Otome yelled.

"Onee-chan…"

"You think it's so easy? You think it's that simple, that I'm just supposed to _try_ to be better than her? Well what do _you_ know? Everything's always come so naturally to you!" Otome's blood began to boil. There was no stopping now. "Do you honestly think I could ever compete with you? What a fucking joke! You've got looks! You've got grades! You're two steps away from Captain of the Basketball Team and you're only a freshmen! When you walk into a room everyone notices. All your jokes are funny and all your greetings are so sincere and genuine. When has anything _ever_ been hard for you?"

Karen sighed, looking away for a moment. After taking a minute to gather her thoughts, she turned back to face Otome, her face looking a bit sadder.

"I see," She whispered. "This is about me, isn't it?"

Otome remained silent.

"Why else would you get so much angrier when I used myself as an example? You were upset with me so you decided to take it out on Katsura-san, didn't you?"

Otome looked away, still saying nothing.

"Onee-chan, whatever you're feeling towards me is no excuse to go terrorizing an innocent girl." Karen moved herself closer to her older sister. "If you're upset with me, let's talk about it. I promise I'll hear you out, so just-"

"Back off!" Otome swatted at her sister before rising to meet Karen's eyes. "You think you're so fucking smart! You've got me completely figured out, is that it?"

"Calm down."

"No!" Otome fired back. "You're right, this _is_ about you! It's always been about you because the whole friggin world revolves around the amazing Karen Katou! Have you any idea what it's like to be constantly living in your shadow? To have guys walk up to you and say, 'Hey, isn't your sister on the Basketball Team?' like somehow you're not? And have you ever stopped to notice all the compliments from Mom and Dad? 'Nice job at today's game, Karen. 'You're growing up so beautifully, Karen.' 'You're so smart, Karen.' When was the last time you've ever heard them give _me _a compliment? Not even a 'Good job.' or a 'Nice try.'" Tears streamed down Otome's face as she continued. "I try to be happy for you, Karen. Really, I do. But being reminded day in and day out how you're so superior in every way… all I can ever feel is envy. Envy and shame because I know I can never measure up to you. Can't you see how much just being around you hurts me?"

"Don't cry, Onee-chan." Karen pleaded. "I know I'll probably never understand what you're going through, but if you really want to be praised by someone, I'll praise you. I'll be the one to acknowledge everything you do. And I can help you improve on some of these things too. I'll give you some pointers in Basketball, maybe help you with your homework. We can…"

Karen droned on and on about studying and makeovers, and all kinds of meaningless crap. It was pointless. The only thing it really served to do was piss Otome off.

Who did she think she was? Graciously offering her assistance.

It would have been nice to be told she was fine the way she was, but instead all Karen did was go on and on about Otome's faults and how they could be fixed. How they would 'work together' to help Otome reach Karen's level. She was way too honest. Didn't she realize she was only making things worse?"…and maybe instead of always wearing that ponytail, you could try-""Enough!" Otome snapped. "Would you just shut up? Don't you realize getting help from you would make me even more pathetic? I'm just supposed to surrender my pride so I can be remade in your perfect image?"

"Well, I don't really see it that way."

"Of course you don't! Ever since you started developing, you've been so goddamn smug. And you delude yourself into thinking that you're this nice girl with a strong sense of justice when really all you're doing is forcing your will on other people. In your heart of hearts you assume your way is the correct one because with everyone's approval, you've managed to think that the sun shines out your ass."

"That's not-"

"I don't know what's worse, that you're so great that no one even looks at me, or that you try so hard to convince yourself you don't feel the same way!"

"Nee-chan… I swear, I don't think I'm better than you…"Otome could tell Karen was trying her best to sound honest, but she wasn't fooling anyone.

"Liar! I'm scum to you and you know it. Just a pathetic freak for you to take pity on. You just love playing the hero, don't you?"

"It's not like that! I do it because I care."

"Care?" Otome scoffed. "Bullshit. All you ever do is make me feel bad about myself. I'm miserable with you don't you just go away!"

"Otome, stop!" Karen frantically pleaded. "Don't say things you don't mean. Siblings aren't meant to hurt each other like this."

"Fuck you!" Otome shouted. "I hate you! I wish you'd just disappear! I don't ever want to see that pretentious smirk again!" Karen was dead quiet. Tears leaked profusely from her closed eyes as she silently sobbed. The instant those words left Otome's mouth, her face went pale white...

Otome had gone too far. Otome put a hand on her sister's shoulder. "Karen, -"

"Get away!" Karen shrieked, slapping Otome's hand away before bolting out the door. Otome didn't follow. She didn't say a word.

* * *

That boy.

Getting all excited and running off like that.

Fumie sighed, looking out at the city streets from her apartment. The sky's orange-pink hue was dimming, darkening. The street lamps peppered around the neighborhood bathed everything in a subtle orange.

Thinking back, Fumie felt nostalgia seeing that look on Makoto's face. It had been so long since she had seen such fire and passion in his eyes; passion she hadn't seen since...

Since Masaru left with Itaru.

Fumie chuckled.

She might have actually missed that asshole a little.

The black-haired woman stared blankly at the Nobil gas station somewhat to the right of her field of vision. Ironic that all she really won from the divorce was that crappy gas guzzling Stanza. Fumie wasn't an expert on cars, but she knew that a vehicle that size doesn't normally burn up gas the way it did. Where was all of it going? It wasn't like she used the car much to begin with.

At any rate,

Makoto didn't really take after Masaru much. He had his father's looks, sure, but Makoto's personality was all Fumi. Makoto was the kind of guy who got really excited about an idea, putting his heart and soul into the undertaking for a short amount of time before eventually boring with it, giving way to laziness and apathy. He was indecisive, just like his mother. Another trait Fumie wasn't proud of passing on to her son. Still, at least he wasn't as selfish and self-absorbed as his father. It was like the guy was married to himself. Still, for what it was worth, the one thing Masaru was best at was being a father. At least she knew Itaru was in good hands.

Ugh, enough.

Fumie shook off the thoughts of her ex-husband; taking her mind off of him with thoughts of her grandson. Kosuke was adorable; kind of loud though. Of course, when you've got a baby, that kind of comes with the territory. Fumie could handle it, but she worried about Makoto. He wasn't exactly the patient type. He wasn't a paragon of empathy either. Although, from what she's seen, Makoto was actually getting fairly good with him. Of course, Fumie had to teach Makoto a lot in order to help him take care of Kosuke. That much was a given. After all, a sixteen year old boy could never be prepared for the taxing demands of parenthood. Let alone _her_ sixteen year old boy.

And then of course there was Katsura.

_"She's bad for you, Makoto."_

_"I know that! But I- I'll be back for Kosuke."_

Fumie didn't want her grandson living with that unstable girl.

She'd have to say something to Makoto when he got back. Although, ultimately Kosuke was Makoto's child, making this entirely his decision.

Makoto.

She sure hoped he knew what he was doing.

* * *

Makoto smiled slightly as he left the room. Kotonoha was sleeping soundly in bedroom and Makoto was headed for home, ready to bring his son to their new home.

"…_I love you too, Makoto-kun." The girl's weak voice mustered, raising a shaky hand to his sopping cheek. "…I came back… you called me, so I came."_

"_I know." Makoto sobbed._

"_Please... don't leave me again. I'll make you happy... I promise..."_

Those words stuck in his mind.

He couldn't keep abandoning her like that. She falls apart without him. Maybe he should wait until she wakes up to go grab his son. She might want to come along.

Kotonoha seemed pretty exhausted after her ordeal. It wasn't surprising, after all she had been asphyxiated for God knows how long; her body likely losing energy trying to fight the oncoming onslaught of self-inflicted torture.

Makoto felt bad about his lover being in so much pain, physically, mentally, emotionally; and all caused by him. The guy she was supposed to be in love with. Through it all, her love didn't fade. It burrowed deeper and deeper into her heart, gaining strength with every inch she gave it. And once matured, it coiled into a noose around her neck.

The love she felt for him was a poison, threatening to spread throughout her entire body, ending her short life in the most excruciating way imaginable.

No.

Makoto was wrong to blame Kotonoha's feelings for the torture and turmoil she endured.

It was Makoto.

It was always Makoto.

His words, his actions; everything about him resonated with her in such a deep and profound way. They were less boyfriend and girlfriend and more master and slave. Makoto would complain about an essay for history class, only to find out next class that it was already turned in by email. He was met on the rooftop everyday with a homemade bento and a smile. In crowded trains his body would… react to being pressed up against Kotonoha's. Wordlessly, she took care of it with skill that far outclassed her experience.

Makoto never really had to ask his girlfriend for anything.

She was always watching him closely, studying him; learning things about him that Makoto himself didn't even know. She stayed one step ahead of his wants and needs, and because of it for a while Makoto forgot what it really felt like for things not to go his way.

That is, until his child came into the picture.

Makoto went into the kitchen for a snack, realizing he had been standing in the hallway thinking for about twenty minutes.

The fridge was mostly empty, save for a few rice balls and some condiments. Makoto checked the freezer.

Nothing.

What was she feeding Kokoro?

Makoto tried to reach for a rice ball, but was stopped short by the sharp sting of a bamboo blade across his neck.

"Ow! What'd you do that for?" Makoto grunted, turning to see Kokoro holding a Kendo practice sword.

"Those are mine, you can't have them!" The little girl shouted. Her eyes were fierce and piercing. Makoto stepped backward, slightly intimidated.

"Calm down, Kokoro. They're just rice balls."

"I need them! I don't have any money left! I'll starve if you eat them all!"

"You'll… starve?

* * *

Yuuki wiped the sweat from his brow, exhausted after his tenth game of DDR. Karen was still going strong, meeting each arrow with surgical precision. She was completely cleaning him out. There goes that new jacket he wanted.

After a while, Karen stepped off of the machine and took a sip of her Coke. "So what do you wanna do next? I'm thinking Karaoke." Karen wore a big grin as she pulled him toward the arcade's exit. Her eyes told a different tale. They were sad, lonely. Her voice was full of a forced energy Yuuki wasn't accustomed to hearing.

Yuuki stopped her once they left the building, looking up into her morose chestnut eyes. "Actually, I think it's time we head home. It's kind of a school night."

"It's 21:00, the night's still young." Karen coaxed. "Can't we stay out for a little while longer?"

Yuuki could see the desperation in Karen's eyes. He didn't know what exactly was bothering her, but it was clear that it had something to do with going home.

"Seriously, Karen. We should get going. I'll walk you home." Yuuki reached for Karen's hand, only to have Karen snatch it away.

"Fine, forget it! I'll go have fun on my own. It's better I don't hang out with you anyway. People'll think I'm babysitting." Karen's hands shot straight to her mouth as the gravity of her words sunk in. Yuuki could see a wave of regret washing over Karen as he stared daggers at her for her comment.

Anger aside, objectively Yuuki could now confirm without a doubt that Karen was having troubles at home. She was never the kind to deliberately hurt people's feelings. Yet from what he'd heard, her sister was.

Katsura-san was never particularly open with him about the girls who bullied her, but it was hard not to notice when passing her and that group of girls in the hall. He had tried to ask her about it, maybe find a way to help. But his attempts were in vain given how tight-lipped she was on the issue. Katsura even once tried to explain that they were friends of hers and that their pranks were just harmless jokes. How harmless is leaving tacks or razor blades in her shoes? Is spending fifteen minutes telling someone how worthless they are something a friend would do?

It sounded like Karen had just felt the brunt of something similar.

The two were silent for a while. Karen wouldn't meet his eyes. She muttered a soft apology, keeping her head down to hide her streaming tears. Yuuki wrapped his arms tightly around the sobbing girl.

"Let's go back to my house. You can tell me all about it."

* * *

Lights Out.

Could two words in the English language hope to be as condemning?

As disheartening?

Spoken in English, these foreign words told a tale of sorrow and misery; pain and suffering.

Sekai was broken. Not all the time, but nights like these… they were tough. Alone in her soft, spongy, padded cell. Arms bound, waiting for sleep; for morning. Her pillowy domicile offered little comfort. The only real friend she had was a small barred window from which moonlight could pierce her silent prison. Before she lashed out, Sekai would get to come out into the common area several times a day. She could interact with the other inmates, or patients as Dr. Morisato called them. Nowadays she had food and pills delivered directly to her room. They were always so careful not to give her any sharp utensils. Don't want her getting any more bright ideas.

Sekai didn't get time outside like the others, a chance to enjoy the warm sun and watch the clouds go by. She'd have to earn that back.

She'd have to earn a lot of things. Sekai didn't feel insane. Still, most insane people probably don't realize their own mental deviations.

Sekai sighed, looking up at her good friend the moon. He was full tonight, showing with a brilliance that illuminated nearly every pore of the wall's spongy texture. Sekai smiled up at him. He didn't smile back. Not that it was surprising. The moon is, after all, an inanimate object. She was only really addressing it otherwise to give herself something to talk to during her lonely nights.

"So Mr. Moon, why do _you think I'm here?_

Sekai smiled as she thought up a pretend answer.

"I guess you're right, I am pretty lucky the court found me insane. Uncle Kosuke is amazing."

Kosuke Saionji was a fairly famous Japanese defense attorney. Probably the closest thing to a real life Phoenix Wright. He was also Mom's kid brother. Sekai saw him a lot as a kid. Uncle Kosuke always took her out for ice cream when he visited. When Dad left, he helped support them until Mom could find a job.

Kosuke Saionji was her hero, making the choice for her son's name kind of a no-brainer.

…

Sekai sat there, dumbfounded for a second. Tears began to roll down her cheeks before she could even register the emotion.

Held him.

Once.

Fed him.

Once.

He was taken from her, snatched away by men in white to be given to a more… suitable parent.

Kosuke Saionji. Now, Kosuke Itou.

Was he alright with that immature bastard as a father? What did he know about parenting?

Sekai whipped around, kicking the wall closest to her.

How could she be sure he wasn't lying in a gutter somewhere while Makoto was off banging every sleazy slut and skank he came across? How could she be sure her son wasn't being left alone so that Makoto could go on dates with Katsura?

Katsura.

Kosuke was a looming reminder of both Makoto's infidelity and Sekai's betrayal. She could convince Makoto to abandon him, or marry Makoto and spend Kosuke's whole life making it a living hell. He'd be the unwitting outlet to her spite.

Sekai couldn't stand the thought of her baby being hurt by that bitch. She had to be in his life to make sure things like this didn't happen.

But Sekai wasn't stupid.

She knew that, as far as Japanese government was concerned, she had a problem. And there was really only one way out of it.

Go through the program. Get better. Get discharged.

Compliance was the only thing these people understood. To them it spelled progress.

That night Sekai swore to herself that she would get out of this place someday. With the moon as her witness, she would see her boy again.

* * *

Well everyone, thanks for all of your heartfelt words in regards to my friend Andy. I know it's been a while, but I just want you all to know that he's doing alright now and appreciated that you guys kept him in your prayers. Sorry for the wait, by the way. You may want to re-read a chapter or two for context. Anyway, thanks again folks. Have a nice day.


	13. For the Better

**The things we do for love...**

**read.**

_"I already told you, get lost."_

Her words played over and over in Taisuke's mind; serving to knock down his seemingly unshakable spirit.

What was her problem?

Taisuke was finally going to accept her and she just rejected him, just like that.

Kuroda should have been stoked to be with a cool guy like him.

Right?

Taisuke shrugged, twirling his pencil as he stared down at his untouched math homework.

What a waste of time.

Rising from his desk, Taisuke exited the bedroom, descending the stairs to get a soda from the kitchen. Mom was in there talking on the phone.

Probably about some case.

"...Has forensics found anything of use yet? Interesting... no, that kind of wound couldn't have been inflicted with a serrated edge."

Serrated? What the hell did that mean?

Eh, who cares.

Taisuke cracked open a can of Match, almost closing the fridge before noticing a thick slice of chocolate cake just begging to be eaten. Gramps' birthday was a few days ago.

Thank God for that old man!

Taisuke plated the tasty morsel, eager to return to his room with his snack.

"Oy, Taisuke! I want that cake back in the fridge. You'll spoil your appetite."

Damn, he was really hoping she wouldn't notice him.

"Well, tell Miyabi to get dinner started." Taisuke huffed. "I'm not letting myself starve so my sister can spend all night watching k-dramas."

"Yeah, that does complicate things." Mom added, rubbing her chin.

Taisuke couldn't believe it! Mom was taking _his _side for once! "See? You understa-"

"Quiet!" Mom snapped. "Can't you tell I'm on the phone? You can have the soda, but the cake goes back in the fridge."

Taisuke grumbled, returning the slice of chocolate heaven to the frigid box from whence it came.

Would _anything_ go his way today?

Taisuke tried to leave the kitchen, only to stop dead in his tracks at his mother's words.

"Yeah, I think it would be best to double check for any attempts at forced entry. And bring their daughter back in for questioning. She may have left out a detail or two in her statement. One thing's for sure.

Gendou Katsura is no murderer."

* * *

_Kotonoha slowly began her walk down the aisle. _

_The church was empty save for the single figure she saw standing at the altar. No family or friends to cheer her on, no groomsmen nor bridesmaids, nor even priest present to bless their union._

_That was a good thing._

_They would just get in the way. _

_Kotonoha wanted Makoto-kun all to herself and that was exactly what she got. _

_As she continued on, Kotonoha could sense the road to her beloved growing ever longer. Makoto-kun faded and shrank as he seemed to move further and further away. Kotonoha gave chase, pushing herself as fast as she could. It was no use. The faster she ran, the more distant he became, until she could no longer tell if he was there._

_All around her, the pews began to fill. _

_The disgusted onlookers sneered and glared at her, judging her._

_They slowly left their seats, converging around the poor girl as she desperately tried to continue forward._

_They were upon her now. Not a word was spoken. The horrid beasts that were once friends and family now held her to the floor, biting, clawing, and pulling hair. _

_Makoto-kun._

_She wanted to cry out to him. No sound escaped her mouth. Silently she sobbed as they tore her apart._

Kotonoha's eyes shot open. She doubled over, letting loose a torrent of salty tears.

Another nightmare.

Kotonoha couldn't go back to sleep now. That was fine. It was morning anyway.

Anxiously, her eyes darted around the room. She was in her new home, comforted by the unfamiliarity of recently purchased furnishings.

She was where she belonged.

_"I'll take care of you._

_Because I'm you boyfriend, and…_

_I love you."_

Kotonoha smiled to herself as she remembered the previous night. Makoto-kun saved her. He had called her back home. But... where was he?

"Makoto-kun?" Kotonoha called, nervously.

No answer.

Was it all just a dream? Had she even really hung herself? Or was she stuck in yet another dream world?

"Makoto-kun!" She yelled once more, hopping out of bed and charging toward the door.

"Oh good, you're up!" she heard a cheerful voice reply as the bedroom door swung open to reveal an ecstatic Makoto-kun with a tray of food in one hand and the other resting on the knob. "I thought after your ordeal you might enjoy breakfast in bed." Makoto-kun gestured to the tray he was holding. It was a western-style breakfast. Scrambled eggs, sausage, and two pancakes topped with butter and maple syrup. Accompanying the plate were a glass of orange juice and a small cup of tea.

Kotonoha was awestruck.

He had never cooked for her before. Makoto-kun never seemed like the cooking type, but she supposed he may have had to learn to make a few things for himself, given his mother's busy schedule.

"I-I'll help you with that." Kotonoha volunteered, taking the tray and setting it down on the bare nightstand next to her bed. "Thank you, Makoto-kun."

"It's no big deal. I hope you don't mind, but I went out and bought some groceries. I had to borrow some cash from my mom, but on the upside your fridge is a lot less empty."

"It's no trouble." she replied. "Although, we should pay your mother back as soon as possible."

"Well, I should be getting my next paycheck next week..." he started.

"Don't be silly, Makoto-kun. Let's just go to the ATM later and I'll withdraw it."

"You don't have to do that."

"Of course I do. I'm yours, Makoto-kun. So everything that's mine is also yours."

"Ah, uh right." Makoto-kun turned away, blushing.

Kotonoha let out a small giggle. She missed seeing him get flustered.

"Kotonoha, listen." Makoto-kun's light brown eyes stared intently into hers. His voice was grave. "There are a few things we need to discuss."

"I-I see..." Kotonoha could no longer meet his eyes.

Was he going to break up with her again?

No. If that was the case, Makoto-kun would not have called her back.

But then why would his eyes grow so serious; his tone so direct.

The breakfast could have been Makoto-kun's attempt at softening the blow.

He didn't love her.

No, he cared enough for her to save her life. He probably just wasn't interested in her romantically.

It was because she was unstable; volatile. She could do something strange at any moment. She could say the wrong thing or hurt someone. And as soon as she did he would leave her.

"I'll be right back." Makoto-kun added. "Let me just go make myself a plate and we can-"

"No!" Kotonoha's sudden outburst took Makoto-kun by surprise. "You stay here, Makoto-kun. I'll get it for you."

"Koto-" Before he could protest, she rushed out of the room, bringing the chair she had stood on last night along with her.

He was going to use this opportunity to leave her. Kotonoha leaned the chair against the door knob to prevent his escape. It was a short-term solution, but Kotonoha had to make due while she wracked her brain on how to keep him.

How could she ensure that he wasn't just going to leave her again? There had to be a way to get him to stay with her. Sure, he had said that he would not stop loving her again. Perhaps he even believed that, but Makoto-kun was not exactly the smartest boy. She loved him dearly, but he was so easily fooled by other women. Makoto-kun was weak and it was up to Kotonoha to protect him. He only really rejected Kotonoha because his mother was so opposed to their relationship.

Something had to be done about that.

* * *

Makoto slumped over, slapping his forehead as hard as he could.

_"How is this going to work, Makoto?" Mom probed, skeptically._

_Makoto thought for a moment. _

_It wouldn't exactly be easy to start going back to school with a baby at home. He was sure that if he relied on Kotonoha for food and shelter, he could use the money from his jobs to hire a nanny to watch Kosuke during the day, but how could he guarantee that his son was being well taken care of?_

_There was the option of quitting his jobs and staying home all day, but then he'd be nothing but a burden to Kotonoha. _

_"You're just a boy, Makoto." Mom's words derailed his thoughtrs. "You don't know anything about raising a child."_

_"I can learn." Makoto protested. "I have to, he's my responsibility."_

_"And is part of that responsibility bringing your child to live with a lunatic?"_

_"She's not a lunatic!" Makoto gritted his teeth. "She's just a little sick, that's all. She would never hurt Kosuke."_

_Mom gave the black-haired lad her classic 'no-nonsense' look._

_"Cut the shit, Makoto." She flatly replied. "Do you honestly beleive what youre telling me? Listen to me, son. I'm only telling you this because I love you and because I love the grandson you gave me. She is going to hurt him. She is either going to hurt him or kill him. She'll cry and tell you that she didn't mean it or that it was an accident and you'll have no one to blame but yourself."_

"Shit."

What was he going to do?

He couldn't just leave her. She was his responsibility too.

Although, Makoto wasn't without options.

He could get her to see a psychiatrist, maybe get some medication to dull her... tendancies...

Makoto continued to hang his head in shame. Could he really trust her with his son? He had thought about keeping Kosuke around him at all times, but that really didn't seem possible. Makoto had to sleep sometime.

Wait, what was he saying?

Kotonoha wasn't the violent type. The worst she'd ever done was a little breaking and entering. There was no way that sweet girl could be capable of harming anyone. If she was going to hurt his son, she would have done it yesterday when she was alone with him.

Perhaps he just needed to trust his girlfriend more. The real issue was whether or not she could accept Kosuke as her child. She seemed pretty adamant about it yesterday, but thinking back, there was a bit of unease in her protests of motherhood. Could she really love Kosuke? Could he stay with her if she couldn't? Kosuke couldn't grow up living with someone who hated him, could he?

Makoto sighed. Maybe he would grow on her. Maybe he'd end up looking more like his father.

...

Damn.

Could he really go through with this?

* * *

Kotonoha could feel the dishes rattle as she ascended the stairs to return to her room. With her, the remainder of the breakfast Makoto-kun had prepared. Kokoro was eating alone downstairs.

Hopefully their newfound family could someday mend the poor girl's heart. As she reached the hallway, the chair was the first thing to come into her field of vision.

Makoto-kun didn't try to open the door, did he?

It was still safely leaned against the door, but that didn't mean her boyfriend hadn 't at least tried to escape. That was why she needed to use extreme measures.

Kotonoha prayed Makoto-kun would forgive her.

_RIIIIIIING_

_RIIIIIIIING_

The land line.

It was probably just more pesky telemarketers. What troublesome people.

Kotonoha delicately rested the tray on the floor while she removed the chair from the door.

He was behind that door waiting for her to rescue him from himself. She had to do it. It was the only way they could stay together. Makoto-kun would just leave her as soon as he had the opportunity. She didn't want to resort to this, but she had no choice.

Besides, Makoto-kun brought her back from the hell of that false world, from death itself. He wanted to be with her, he just didn't always understand that. Sometimes Makoto-kun would forget how much he loved her. This was often due to influence from... outside forces. But soon, Kotonoha would have him all to herself.

Kotonoha picked the tray back up and entered the spacious room, seeing Makoto-kun cupping his face with his hands.

He was worried about something.

Was he really just planning on breaking up with her again? Perhaps Kotonoha could use the guilt he was feeling to keep him around.

"Makoto-kun," Kotonoha started, setting her tray down next to his.

* * *

She was looking at him with those dim purple eyes.

Say something.

Say something, you idiot.

Anything.

Makoto remained silent. He could tell she was reading him, trying to gauge his expression.

The black-haired lad let out a heavy sigh. It was now or never.

"Kotonoha, I-"

Kotonoha gently placed a plate of food in his lap before taking her own. "Let's eat." she suggested. "It will get cold if we wait."

Makoto couldn't argue. He silently nodded, bringing a forkful of scrambled egg up to his tight-lipped mouth. He'd have to speak up at some point, but at least he had a moment to collect his thoughts.

What did he even want to say to her?

"These pancakes are delicious." Kotonoha chimed, breaking the silence.

"Ah," Makoto replied hesitantly. "They're nothing special. Just pancake mix and water."

"That's not true." Kotonoha smiled, "They were made by your hands. That's what makes them taste good."

Ugh, Why did she always have to say things like that?

This was going to be harder than he thought.

Still, as much as he loved putting them off, there were important things he needed to address.

"Kotonoha, look-"

"I love you." She interrupted. Kotonoha's face was an inch away from his. Her eyes were desperate; lonely.

"Kotonoha, please let me continue."

"Are you not happy with me?"

"Kotonoha-"

"I can make you happy!" She protested. "You may not see it now, but I can. I promise. It's alright that you don't always love me. I'm fine with that so-"

"SHUT UP!" Makoto yelled, pushing her back by her shoulders.

"Listen to me, Kotonoha! You need to relax! I'm not going anywhere." Makoto lowered his voice. "I just need to make sure a few things are cleared up between us."

Kotonoha nodded silently, waiting for him to continue.

It was the only way.

He had already promised her last night. He couldn't go back on his word now. He had to tell her; not just for her sake, but for his son's as well.

Makoto tried to speak. His throat was bone dry. He reached over to the cup of tea she had brought him.

Huh?

Why was it so cloudy? Milk, maybe? That was weird. Kotonoha knew he didn't like milk in his tea. He set the cup down without drinking from it. She usually doesn't forget these things. She must have really been under a lot of stress.

Yeah, she needed him to say it. If for nothing else than to lift her spirits.

"If we're going to be living together, I think it would be best if we did the right thing and got married." Makoto could see her eyes light up as he mentioned marriage. "However, in order for that to happen I'm going to need you to promise me a few things."

"-Of course, Makoto-kun, anything! I'll do whatever you want!" She cried, tears already beginning to form in her eyes.

Kotonoha was really thrilled. There was no backing down now. "I want you to start seeing a therapist, you've been through a lot over the past few weeks and I'm afraid of what might happen to you if we don't find some help."

"Alright." She agreed.

"I also want you to start telling me if something I do bothers you. Don't hold it in for my sake."

"It's okay, Makoto-kun." she replied, moving in closer to him. "As long as you stay with me, I don't care if you yell at me, hurt me, or even make me touch you in public. I'm happy just being with you."

"I see..." Makoto was a bit downcast from her statement. Why the hell did she love a guy like him so much?

"But what if you could have more?"

"More?" Kotonoha raised a confused eyebrow.

"Yeah. You have me already Kotonoha; for life. I know you've told me you don't _need _anything else, but is there anything else you want? Don't think that you have to bear with anything for me. If you have anything you'd like me to do or stop doing, let me know."

Kotonoha didn't seem to know how to respond. She remained silent; her eyes continuing their stare into his. Makoto noticed her nod slightly. At least he could tell she was listening.

"I- I also want to talk about Kosuke..." Makoto's voice became a whisper as he spoke.

* * *

11:00

The red digital numbers on Otome's alarm clock began to flicker. She just _had_ to go with a cordless.

'Note to self, buy new batteries.'

Otome didn't really want to get up, but her restless body begged her for activity.

Otome shrugged, walking over to her dresser to face her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was all over the place and she had slept in her school clothes.

Good thing she didn't have school on Saturdays. That was probably the main reason she enrolled in Sakakino Academy. Two-day weekends rock.

Leaving her room for a trip to the bathroom, she noticed something strange.

Normally on Saturdays, Otome could hear the loud music and sound effects of Saturday Morning Cartoons from the hallway. However, the symphony of battle cries and special attacks was replaced by an eerie silence.

Karen.

She could see why her sister might not be in the mood for cartoons.

Otome had said some pretty terrible things.

"I hate you! I wish you'd just disappear! I don't ever want to see that pretentious smirk again!"

How could Otome have been so mean?

That was her sister, the girl she had grown up with nearly all of her life.

Karen just didn't get it.

She didn't understand what Otome was going through. She was the favorite. Everyone liked her better than Otome. Ever since Karen started high school, it seemed like Otome was always losing to her. Although, despite all of this, Otome still felt like she was being unfair to her sister. Sure, Karen was great at nearly everything, but she was hardly ever the boastful type. Karen was always gracious about her victories. Maybe that was why everybody liked her so much. Maybe that was why Otome was always so frustrated with her. Otome was a kindergartener's portrait next to an artisan's masterpiece.

No.

Otome was done looking down on herself. The fact was that she had done something to hurt her sister. Making the whole thing about herself would only cheapen her apology.

"Karen?" Otome asked as she lightly tapped the door to Karen's room.

...

No answer.

She must have been pretty pissed.

"Karen? I want to talk about yesterday. Can I come in?"

Still, nothing.

Perhaps she was still asleep?

Eh, Otome was sure she'd have a chance to talk to Karen later.

* * *

"...So I lied." Sekai sighed, staring past Dr. Morisato's lenses and into his tired grey eyes. "I didn't _really _believe I was pregnant. I think deep down I knew that. I just couldn't admit it to myself. Guess the joke was on me, right?"

"Interesting..." The doctor began.

"I should have just taken that stupid test. I just didn't want to admit to myself I was lying. But in a way I guess you could say I _was_ telling the truth." Sekai forced a laugh.

'You're doing great, Sekai. Just tell this guy everything he wants to know and don't forget to smile.'

If she could deal with the pervs at Radish, this was going to be a piece of cake.

* * *

Makoto Katsura

No, Kotonoha Itou.

She didn't want her name anymore. She wanted to be his.

Kotonoha wondered if she should have Kokoro's name changed as well to match them.

No, Kotonoha didn't want there to be any question about who Makoto-kun's wife was.

He really proposed. She couldn't believe it. She was hardly listening to anything else he was saying, responding every once in a while with a "Yes" or an "Alright."

He wanted her. Makoto-kun wanted to be with her.

Forever.

She didn't need to resort to... that anymore. He was willingly agreeing to stay with her. But wait, what about the tea? If Makoto-kun tried to drink that-

"I also want you to start telling me if something I do bothers you. Don't hold it in for my sake."

That got her attention.

He was testing her resolve. He wanted to make sure she was ready to do anything for him.

Don't drink it, Makoto-kun.

"It's okay, Makoto-kun." she replied. "As long as you stay with me, I don't care if you yell at me, hurt me, or even make me touch you in public. I'm happy just being with you."

Kotonoha stared into his eyes, carefully inching the cup away from him.

"I see..." Makoto replied. He seemed a bit sad. Perhaps he didn't believe her. "But what if you could have more?"

"More?" Kotonoha raised a confused eyebrow, all the while not letting this distract her from her goal. Luckily for her the window was open. Kotonoha did her best not to break eye contact as she moved the tea closer and closer to the window.

What did he mean by more? They were going to be bound together forever. What more could she want?

Slowly she tipped the small ceramic cup, releasing it's contents onto the lawn below.

Makoto-kun mentioned something about things she would like him to do.

Kotonoha couldn't really think of anything in particular. She was just relieved to get that cup of tea away from him before she did something unnecessary; something he might hate her for.

It was a close call, but at least now she could give Makoto-kun her full attention.

"I- I also want to talk about Kosuke..." Makoto-kun's voice became a whisper as he spoke. He looked upset; scared. "He's with my Mom right now. I decided not to bring him over until we discuss it."

Discuss it? What was wrong? Was there a problem with Kosuke-chan living there?

"Kotonoha," He turned his head upward, looking at her with those gorgeous brown eyes. They pleaded with her for understanding. "Do you... hate him?"

"What?"

"Kotonoha, Kosuke was born because I was unfaithful, but... what I did was my fault. Please don't hate him for it."

Kotonoha froze.

Makoto-kun was afraid of her; afraid of what she might do to his child.

That was why he asked how she felt about him. He was afraid she was going to treat him badly.

Kotonoha was trying to prove she could be a good mother for Makoto-kun's sake. Had she not been trying hard enough? Makoto-kun could clearly tell that she was hiding something.

"M-Makoto-kun," he was right to be suspicious. Kotonoha was a ticking time-bomb. After doing what she did in that false world, Kotonoha understood what she was capable of. She wasn't sure that she could keep herself from trying to harm the product of his infidelity. A part of her wanted to hurt him, to stomp him out of existence so that he would no longer remind her of that bitch. And yet at the same time, she wasn't even sure if she really could.

"I would never do anything to hurt that boy." Kotonoha felt sick.

She wanted to tell him the truth, that her feelings for Kosuke were a jumbled mess. She despised him for sharing blood with another woman, but she adored him for the blood he shared with her beloved. Kotonoha wanted to be together with Makoto-kun, but she didn't know if she even could be a mother to Saionji's child.

Wait...

What was she saying? Of course she could! Kotonoha loved Makoto-kun far more than she hated Saionji. All she had to do was do her best to ignore any traits their child shared with that slut. She could raise a young man that was hers; one that had nothing in common with Saionji. That itself would have to be her revenge. Saionji stole her boyfriend, so she'd steal Saionji's son.

"Kotonoha, are you sure you'll be alright with him staying here?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Kotonoha replied. "I am his mother, aren't I?"

* * *

He barely even touched on the empty fridge.

Was she even feeding Kokoro?

Why was he avoiding it?

Was he afraid? Afraid of her answer?

Was Kotonoha herself even eating?

Damnit! Why couldn't he just ask her?

Why couldn't he say something?

Instead, all he did was make her a bunch of promises.

Was this what Makoto was reduced to?

Carrot dangling?

Manipulation?

Sure, he wanted to help Kotonoha, but was promising to marry her really the best option?

The girl sat beside him on the train; her head on his shoulder, their fingers interlaced. She looked paler than usual. her face was haggard, almost gaunt. Her beautiful violet locks were tangled and unkempt was she really taking care of herself?

Well, Makoto supposed it was his job to take care of her now.

Makoto let out a heavy sigh.

They were on their way to Mom's place. Yeah, Mom's place. It wasn't really his home anymore, so what else could he call it? His place was with Kotonoha now. He had to fix what he had broken so that they could build a life together.

Ugh,

Damnit.

Makoto was so young. He had his whole life ahead of him. There were so many possibilities. Now he really only had one path to follow. There were no more options, just her. Beautiful as she was, he felt condemned at the thought of promising himself to one person for the rest of his life. Still, there was no turning back now. If there was one thing having a child was teaching him, it was to own up to his responsibilities, and Makoto Itou had a lot to own up to.

* * *

Taisuke sighed as he entered the classroom. Second year class three was a jungle of unfamiliar faces. Kiyoura had moved away, Saionji was in the looney bin, and Kanroji had transferred schools as soon as their first year ended. Kuroda was usually here, but it wasn't like she was talking to him anyway. Damn, could that chick hold a grudge.

"Hey, idiot." Speak of the devil.

Taisuke whipped around to see Kuroda... smiling at him?

"Hey, Kuroda." That was weird. It was almost like she was happy to see him or something.

"You, um... think we could step out and talk for a bit?" She seemed a little nervous.

A confession? Awesome! His persistence was finally paying off. At last, things would be going Taisuke's way.

"Sure, sure. Let's go out to the hallway. Everyone should be in the classrooms by now."

With that, the pair left the room and began their search for a more secluded hall.

Purple.

Taisuke froze when he saw that familiar long violet mane pass him, recalling his mother's words.

_"Gendou Katsura is no murderer."_

He had to tell her. Mom had proof her dad was innocent; something about a serrated... something or other.

He could tell that Kuroda was staring at him.

Kuroda.

Taisuke would never have a chance like this again.

Ah well, he could tell Katsura-san tomorrow. She seemed pretty busy with Makoto anyway.

.

.

.

"Makoto?"


End file.
